Serial mom, actress, essayist. Observing the human animal at Social Zoology.
Iceland
Joined July 2014
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In the Age of Abundance, cash is no longer king.
It sits in a drawer with the spare buttons and the charger you never use.
What rules instead is the story you can tell while looking someone in the eye.
A favor remembered.
A meal that appears because someone noticed you were hungry.
What are you spending when money has nothing left to buy?
🤖 Made with AI
A 70-year-old in 2026 is still a 70-year-old from 1976 in my mind.
What outdated image of “old” are you still carrying?
I know men that dance like this.
JUST IN: Scientists reveal the optimal dance moves men should make to attract female mates.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The "JUST IN" claim refers to a 2010 Northumbria University study, not recent research.
royalsociety.org/news/2010/attr…
livescience.com/8595-study-men…
"If you can do nothing, then you can do nothing. It is a personal victory to face up to it when you can do nothing."
socialzoology.substack.com/p… #mindset #Substack
"Make yourself some cocoa, give yourself and your creativity a round of applause, and go back to sleep."
socialzoology.substack.com/p… #sleep #essays
In the Age of Abundance, fashion is whatever you dream up that morning.
Dresses made of weather. Underwear that changes colour when you lie. I’ll wear a gown of tiny thunderstorms, with two mini helicopters holding up my breasts.
What are you wearing Tuesday?
🤖 Made with AI
I’ve realised that somewhere in my mind, a 70-year-old in 2026 is still a 70-year-old from 1976. Our bodies age, but our mental image of old people remains stubbornly vintage.
What outdated picture of “old” are you still carrying?
Very much alive. The hairdo in place.
North Korea's Kim Jong Un arrives in Dandong, China, Yonhap says reut.rs/4dYbdNs reut.rs/4dYbdNs
Crystal has died. At her request she was buried with her pole. The coffin was 3.8 metres long. The funeral home called it "a first." Crystal would have called it "a decent stage." 🕯️
🤖 Made with AI
Crystal had the core strength of a suspension bridge and the patience of a saint. She needed both, working Tuesdays.
She could hang upside down for eleven minutes while explaining the tax code. Her accountant still doesn't know how she did it. Neither does her chiropractor.
She never used the word "stripper." She was "a vertical fitness artist with a gift for tips." Her mother told the neighbours she worked "in the arts." Her mother was right.
Crystal raised two daughters, three cats, and one very confused husband, who carried her pole to every house move for twenty years and never once complained in front of it.
The pallbearers asked for extra help. Eight men were needed for the coffin. Six of them were regulars.
Crystal, you spent your life going round and round, and somehow you always landed on your feet. Rest now. You've earned the horizontal position.
Eulogies for the imaginary. Tell me who to bury. 🕯️
(AI image, fictional person)
EU Sanctions Against Russia: A Shopping Guide
Brussels has been very clear. Russia must be punished. No caviar. No vodka. No diamonds. No mink. No ermine, fox or squirrel. Absolutely no Russian sable.
Italy cleared its throat. Greece joined in.
Fine. Sable is allowed. But only sable. We're not monsters, and Milan has a winter collection to finish.
The ban on Russian gas stands firm, starting in 2027. Until then, existing contracts can continue, because apparently you can't sanction a contract without hurting its feelings.
In September, Hungary bought €475 million worth of Russian fossil fuels, purely so it could disapprove of them at home. France bought another €446 million worth of Russian LNG, presumably to heat the rooms where sanctions are discussed.
Russian uranium stays legal, because sanctioning uranium would be a bit much.
Fertiliser is allowed but taxed, so we can feel bad about it while it's growing our potatoes.
Russian planes may not cross our airspace. Russian oil may not enter our ports, except under certain exemptions. And if it's been refined in India first, that's banned too, since January. We're keeping an eye on it. Seven tankers of it arrived in September anyway.
To sum up: if you're a sanctioned Russian oligarch landing at an EU airport, you'll be turned away at once. Your sable coat, however, is welcome. As is the Russian gas heating the terminal, the Russian nuclear fuel keeping the lights on, and the Russian fertiliser growing the flowers outside.
Package number 22 is coming soon. Word is it's very strict on mink, unless someone in Greece needs a coat.
(AI image. Facts checked by Grok, the jokes are mine.)
🤖 Made with AI
"Skip drawing conclusions out of thin air altogether. Conclusions are grossly overrated."
socialzoology.substack.com/p… #worry #writing
I’ve realised that somewhere in my mind, a 70-year-old in 2026 is still a 70-year-old from 1976. Our bodies age, but our mental image of old people remains stubbornly vintage. ⭐️
