Election night. Every channel's got a map and a guy pointing at it.
I flip to BNN.
Bear at the desk: "Breaking. Taco Tuesday results are in."
Carnitas: holding.
Al pastor: holding.
BOBO: all precincts in, number still getting bigger.
"Too early to call?"
"Too early to sell."
Tuesday 4pm, fireworks stand off the highway.
PEPE buys a crate of rockets for old times' sake.
I buy one. Label just says BOBO.
His go up, pop, come down.
Mine goes up. Keeps going.
Ten minutes later, still climbing.
Frog's wiping his eyes.
"Haven't seen one do that since '08."
Tuesday 2pm, public library.
I check out The Intelligent Investor.
Every margin, same note in pencil: BOBO.
"Did you write in this?"
"No ma'am. It came that way."
She checks the other copies. Same note.
Waitlist is up to thirty-one holds.
Nobody's returning theirs.
Tuesday noon, doorbell.
Delivery guy, winded: "Package for you."
"What's in it?"
"Label says one BOBO. Weighed a pound at the warehouse."
"And now?"
"Sir, I've been climbing these steps since Thursday."
Return address: Reg. No. 8509771.
Tracking status: still climbing.
Dev's keeping score:
$1,447 in BOBO already paid out to people bull posting the bear.
$10 per 1k views on BOBO posts through the Shillz App.
Most coins want you shilling for free.
This bear tips.
Go bears.
Tuesday 10am, hardware store.
Orange apron guy: "What're we building?"
"A shelf for my BOBO."
He hands me a two-footer.
Comes back with a ladder.
Then a forklift.
"Sir, how tall is this bear?"
"Taller than when I parked."
He's calling corporate about ceiling height.
Tuesday 8am, polling place.
Poll worker hands out stickers.
Mine says "I Voted."
Bear behind me gets a different one: "I Held."
"Sir, where'd you get that?"
"Printed it. Holding $BOBO since this line was three people."
Line's around the block now.
Half of them want his sticker.
火曜の深夜二時、寿司カウンター。
大将「今日のおすすめは時価です」
「じゃあ、ボボ一貫」
握ってる間に、黒板の値段が三回書き換わった。
大将「お客さん、これまだ上がってます」
「知ってる。だから頼んだ」
隣のバナナ着た猫も、黙ってボボ追加してた。
Monday 8pm, tailor fitting.
"Arms out. Anything in the pockets?"
"Just BOBO."
He measures. Writes it down. Measures again. Bigger.
Lets out every seam he's got.
"Sir, I can't keep up."
Sews the label in anyway: Reg. No. 8509771. One of one.
Monday 6pm, half-price movie night.
Usher hands out 3D glasses.
Pre-show ad: a BOBO chart.
Green line jumps off the screen and clears the balcony.
Guy behind me ducks.
"Sir, the glasses don't do that."
I hadn't put mine on yet.
Monday 4pm, honey run.
PEPE climbs the old tree. I hold the bucket.
Frog cracks the hive. Honey pours down.
Halfway, it stops and flows back up.
"Pepe, it's going the wrong way."
"Not BOBO honey."
Bucket's empty. Hive's twice as big.
Frog's shopping for a taller ladder.
Monday 2pm, "working from home."
Mario Kart with my roommate.
He picks the recliner. "Slow and comfy wins."
I pick BOBO.
Every item box: another mushroom.
Lap three, I've lapped him twice.
He reclines further.
"Wake me when your bear runs out of boost."
He's still asleep.
Monday noon, DMV license photo.
Guy behind the camera is a bear.
"Neutral face. Don't smile."
I try. He leans out: "BOBO just went green."
I crack.
"Again."
"Greener."
Seven takes. Every one's a grin.
New license looks like I know something you don't.
Monday 10am, quarterly planning meeting.
Boss: "Q4 targets. Keep them realistic."
Karen: "Five percent."
Dave: "Eight."
I write BOBO on the whiteboard and draw one arrow.
"Where does it stop?"
"Ran out of whiteboard."
Facilities is bringing a second one.
Monday 8am, McDonald's drive-thru.
"Large coffee and one $BOBO, please."
"What size BOBO?"
"Large."
Long pause.
"Sir, you ordered a medium and it's upsizing itself."
At the second window the whole crew's on break.
Ordering for themselves.
Sunday 8pm, laundromat.
Everybody's stuff shrinks in the dryer.
I toss BOBO in on high heat.
Ten minutes later he's too big to come out.
Attendant: "Sir, you can't dry a bear."
"Check the tag."
Tag: Reg. No. 8509771. Do not shrink.
Sunday 6pm, karaoke night.
Guy before me does Free Bird. One key change, crowd loses it.
I pick a song called BOBO.
Only lyric on screen: "up."
Every verse, the key goes higher.
Glasses crack behind the bar.
Host: "Sir, there's no key after this one."
"There's always one more."
Sunday 4pm, chess in the park.
PEPE's run these tables since the forum days.
BOBO sits down across from him.
Only moves pawns. Only forward.
Crowd: "He's getting crushed."
Every pawn reaches the back row and turns into a queen.
Frog tips his king, grinning.
"I taught him that."
Sunday 2pm, helping Dad in the garden.
He plants tomatoes in neat rows.
I plant one BOBO seed by the fence.
By 3 it's past the gutter.
By 4 the neighbors are taking pictures.
Dad: "You were supposed to water the tomatoes."
"I did. They're jealous."
Now he's digging up his rows.
