​𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐚

Please learn detachment. Quit treating one person like they're the air you breathe. You completely fall apart once they walk away. You cannot eat, sleep or work. That isn't what love is supposed to be. That straight up feels like being held hostage. Yes, fall in love, create amazing memories and care for them. However, always remember that at any point they could pack their things away and leave. You need to be capable to move on with your life. They could change their mind at any point. Feelings can fade. All of the sudden you’re no longer good enough & promises run out. The person who promised that they would never leave you, is now a total stranger. To put it simply, detachment just means being able to look someone in the eye and say, I love you and if you choose to lose me, that is entirely your problem to deal with. If you decide to go find someone else to take my place, best of luck to you. And if you stab me in the back, you just made my decision to walk away that much easier Never allow someone to be you whole world. Because when they leave (and they most likely will), you’re accidently losing your whole life. Get used to people leaving. Don’t beg them to stay. Don’t text them lengthy messages at 3am. Don’t check up on them on social media all day. Don’t ruin your life because they decided they could live without you. Fall in love with them with everything you’ve got. Be loyal, be the best version of yourself. But always be strong. Because you can say; “This is hurting me so much but I’m going to push on.” Remember, they can leave. They can forget about you. They can find someone to replace you. But you will never be allowed to give up on yourself.

we rarely lose our temper with the people who deserve it. We snap at the ones who love us enough to forgive us.

According to psychology people with avoidant attachment tend to pull away emotionally right when things start getting really close. All of a sudden, they just need more breathing room. They might text less, get annoyed by tiny things that never used to bug them, or even talk themselves into believing that the relationship has totally changed. But the real issue usually isn't that they stopped caring. It is actually that getting too close triggers their deep need to stay independent and makes them feel super exposed. Putting up a wall brings them a quick sense of relief from that discomfort, which is why backing away feels like the easiest fix to them.

Life can totally flip upside down in just a split second. All it takes is one phone call, a sudden doctor's diagnosis, or one crazy unexpected moment, and everything is completely different. Nothing in this world is ever really promised to us. You don't get a guarantee on tomorrow, your good health, or even the people you care about the most. So make sure you love a whole lot harder & appreciate things way more deeply while you've got them. Because that ordinary, normal life you are living right now could easily turn into the exact thing you're begging and praying to have back tomorrow.

The ironic thing about life is that you are a different person to everyone you meet. To some, you're quiet, to others, you never stop talking. Some remember you for your kindness, others for the time you walked away. You are a villain in someone's story, a hero in another's, & to some, you're just a passing thought, a name they once knew. You don't exist as one person, but as countless versions of yourself, shaped by fleeting moments and personal perceptions. Here's what's unsettling: You will never truly know yourself the way others do. You will never hear your own laughter the way someone else does. You will never see the way your absence lingers in a room you used to fill. To yourself, you are just you. But in reality, you're a thousand different stories, none of which you will ever get to read.

Ever feel like you know something's bothering you, but when someone asks, all you can manage is "I don't know"? Well, PSYCHOLOGY says that's called alexithymia. It's basically a fancy word for having trouble figuring out and talking about your emotions. You know you're hurting, but you have no clue why or how to even explain it without sounding totally dramatic. It's that moment when someone finally asks what's up, and after everything that's been building inside, all that comes out is a hesitant "I don't know." It's not really that you're confused. It's more like a shield. You're trying to protect yourself from being misunderstood again. Over time, this habit of staying quiet can become like heavy armor that's impossible to take off. Your mind starts to believe that keeping quiet is way safer than actually trusting others with how you truly feel. Psychologically speaking, when someone says "I don't know," it's rarely because they genuinely lack knowledge. It's more of a defense mechanism. It's a way to avoid saying the wrong thing, being judged, or opening up to a pain that feels too big to handle. Staying silent feels safer than being exposed. It's your mind's way of trying to protect your heart, even if it means missing out on connecting with people.

A lot of the time we look at whether people are compatible with our lifestyle, have similar goals, similar money values, similar health values and daily routines. However, if they don’t have emotional capacity, then the relationship won’t last. If you can’t show up for yourself, feel your feelings fully and sit with discomfort then you won’t be able to show up for someone else. Capacity is how big your cup is. How much love you can hold inside you because of your inner work and facing your shadows. This is why it is so important in a relationship. When someone with lots of capacity gives to someone with very little capacity they overflow and overwhelm them. They can’t hold onto it all. Capacity isn’t something you can tick off a list. It’s something that you notice over time. How they show up for you, how present they are and how emotionally available they are. Notice this in new friendships, dating and in life.

None of us is easy to be with. That’s probably the part we don’t romanticize enough. In the beginning, someone is mostly a possibility. Their habits are charming. Their silence feels mysterious. We haven’t yet met the parts of them that are hard to reach. But eventually, the illusion gives way to intimacy. You meet their fears, their wounds, their annoying habits, the ways they misunderstand you. And they meet yours. I wonder if we’ve become so afraid of choosing the wrong person that we mistake the discomfort of truly knowing someone for incompatibility. That doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect or abandoning yourself to love. But real love does ask something of us: patience, curiosity, repair. The willingness to stay and understand someone even when it wouldn’t be easier to walk away. Because eventually, everyone becomes difficult to love, including you. Maybe the question isn’t whether love stays easy. Maybe the question is: once the fantasy fades & you finally see each other clearly…do you still look at one another and think, "we’re worth understanding"?

Psychological rumination, social isolation & feeling like your nervous system is in survival mode all greatly increased during and post the pandemic. Data from one of the key global health tracking studies has shown a huge increase in social isolation due to the pressures of the pandemic. A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders showed that the sudden interruption to everyday life caused by the pandemic (work, socialising & physical activity) caused a great decrease in peoples' feelings of social connection. This caused an increase in rumination due to less external stimuli. The WHO found that there was a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression globally during the first year of the pandemic. Many people were stuck in constant dysregulation within their nervous system due to the risk of illness, sadness and financial pressure. A longitudinal study published on PubMed found that those with high levels of rumination had a 5-10x increase in depression and anxiety. The more socially isolated people became the more they would ruminate. The more they would ruminate, the more disconnected they would feel to ‘normal life’. Experts such as those from the University of Colorado Anschutz have found that many people are still in a heightened state of chronic stress years after the pandemic. This has caused people to change their behaviours with many becoming socially isolated and lacking motivation. This cycle rarely breaks as it tends to be triggered by a sudden spike in motivation. Instead people need to take small steps every day to retrain their nervous system to feel safe outside.