what

Last night I was asked in a hushed voice if I'm gay. I said yes and they asked if I knew Val, not realizing that I am Val, the legendary gay – at Baltimore, MD

Ok everyone it had a good run but it’s time to come up with something other than “I feel personally attacked”

#PunishmentOfCertainty #DeepWellOfInsight

Who tf put Landslide on a “Feel Good Songs” playlist???????????????????

Anyway DC pride was actually great and super fun, I was just bitter because some random man knocked an expensive drink out of my hand and DIDNT EVEN SAY SORRY

Can I have a gay pride they doesn’t take all of my money to give me literally nothing

All I want for my birthday is for someone to take down my Christmas lights

My new haircut is very polarizing apparently.

Baby’s first hit and run 😪😒

This tweet deserved more attention I can’t be the only one

Tonight my friend told a drunk guy who kept propositioning me for sex after I kept saying no to “fuck off” and I told my friend he was being too mean. Later found out the guy stole my wallet, which I did get back. There’s a lesson in there somewhere 🧐

I asked my fiancé if he wanted to hear my favorite screamo song and he hesitantly agreed. I asked what he thought after. After a pause, he said “all this time I thought ‘Screamo’ was the name of a band” and this is the story of how it took him 25+ years to learn what screamo is

Walked by a table of professionally dressed women on laptops in a coffee shop. I imagine most of them were hard at work, but one woman was just playing The Sims 4 and that’s me

I can walk around a straight bar and sing along to all my favorite songs with strangers no one told me this I’m mad

OMG straight privilege is also Blink 182 being played every time you go to the club! I’m becoming straight!

Straight privilege is Mr. Brightside being played every time you go to the club 😢

Today at work we had a zoom meeting with an outside org. At the end of the meeting instead of leaving I turned the camera off and muted our group. The other org thought we left and immediately starting talking shit about us. ☠️☠️ It’s so easy to confuse old people also yikes – at Towson, MD

I’m dying one of my coworkers posted this on Facebook and a bunch of other coworkers are commenting on it in enthusiastic agreement, men and women 😂☠️😂☠️☠️☠️ – at Towson, MD

In an all day multi-org zoom training my coworker just accidentally sent “I’m sadly here” to the public chat rather than a private one and that just sums it all up – at Baltimore, MD

People rhetorically saying “right?” at the end of every sentence when they are teaching you something is my biggest pet peeve – at Baltimore, MD

I got staff of the week this week! I was described as having “the patience of a saint” – at Towson, MD