Terri (@terrip38) header
Terri (@terrip38) profile picture

Terri

@terrip38

Gen X latchkey kid. Caution: Bad jokes ahead.

 the chuckle patch 🌼
Twitter.com/search/from:@terrip38(exclude:replies)
Joined January 2010
  • Tweets49.3K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers2.4K
5.4KMedia
Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)
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Terri@terrip38Apr 1
I inadvertently bought acetone-free nail polish remover which turns out to be a solid option if you want to make removing toenail polish a weeklong project.
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Terri retweeted
ScottW (@jswtreeman) profile picture
ScottW@jswtreeman7h
My thoughts go out to all the Spirit Halloween employees who are unemployed until next August.
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I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Terri retweeted
krista (@kristabellerina) profile picture
krista
@kristabellerina9h
I can’t think of a consequence severe enough for my husband, who invited my MIL over without telling me.
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Still dealing…
Image from Terri (@terrip38)
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You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid trying to set the stove clock.
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Happy "It seems so much later than it should be" and "Why is it dark already?!" Day to those who celebrate.
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Terri retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete16h
Mom, can we get donuts? -my kid, eating Halloween candy for breakfast
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I just spent 5 minutes explaining to someone how I am, he looks bored and I am embarrassed and I won’t tell anyone anymore how I am if they ask.
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Terri retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisiveteNov 1
Oh no I bought too much charcuterie for our Halloween party, oh no whatever will we do with all this meat and cheese
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Terri retweeted
ScottW (@jswtreeman) profile picture
ScottW@jswtreeman19h
Best costume I saw trick or treating last night with the grandkids was a teenager dressed like a giant chicken being followed around by Colonel Sanders with a meat cleaver.
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Traveling on Halloween is weird...ordered a coffee from an ompaloompa and Lord Farquaad scanned my boarding pass
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This Halloween I'm going as all the clocks you need to reset.
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Terri retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisiveteOct 31
A haunted house, but it's just my husband making chewing noises in every room
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First kid that rings the doorbell while wearing a Molly the mechanical bird costume gets all the candy and then the light goes out.
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Light’s still on…
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The original Frankenstein movie doesn't have a soundtrack, so I watch it with my favorite ABBA songs.
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Terri retweeted
ScottW (@jswtreeman) profile picture
ScottW@jswtreemanOct 31
Pro tip: If you dislike your neighbors give their kids kazoos for trick or treat on Halloween.
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Terri retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisiveteOct 31
You call it Halloween, I call it the anniversary of finding out my husband thinks the candy is called 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠
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I'm brave, but not "host an indoor Halloween glitter slime-making party for ten kids" brave.
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Those who say nothing is impossible have clearly not tried to resist sleep in office after a heavy lunch.
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