Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham) header
Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham) profile picture

Delightful. @AskOffTrack. I wrote a kids book that's not for kids.

Los Angeles
Joined June 2009
Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)Photo by Tim Durham (@TheTimDurham)
I will never pin a tweet to my profile
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We have to say “Mississippi” after each number
Wtf takes Mississippi so gahdamn long to count votes??
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CNN PROJECTS THAT THE MITOCHONDRIA WILL REMAIN THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL
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Tim Durham retweeted
KEY RACE ALERT: Tom Loftis projected to win reelection as mayor of Widow’s Bay
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There are four lights
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Tim Durham retweeted
“Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived.” — Patrick Stewart as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard
Legendary actor Sir Patrick Stewart, best known for his work in the "Star Trek" and "X-Men" franchises and his prolific award-winning stage career, has died at 86 years old, his spokesperson confirmed. Stewart died at home on Wednesday, with his wife Sunny at his side, a post on his social media channels said. His death followed "a brief and poignant journey with Alzheimer's Disease and Lewy Body Dementia," the post said.
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Tim Durham retweeted
Rest easy, Sir Patrick Stewart. I remember when he gave the command to start engines at Long Beach and was a little disappointed he didn't say 'engage' at the end. But it was still epic.
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As a Star Trek and Shakespeare nerd, today really sucked
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Outside of Indiana, a severe lack of imagination in names
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I know I’m biased on this, but Indiana’s gotta be number one, right? That’s a banger flag
Which State has the best flag? Be honest.
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Arizona’s cool, Colorado’s cool, but some of these other states aren’t even trying. Way too many crests with too much going on. Alabama’s flag looks like it’s telling you where on the map you shouldn’t go. Indiana’s at least top 3
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Facts
Replying to @AskOffTrack
@AskOffTrack I agree with @TheTimDurham and @AlexanderRossi @Hinchtown definitely agreed to the shot of Malört
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"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?" "No- wait, Dracula?" "Yes!" "You're vampires?" "Yes. We have pamphlets." "Vampires have missionaries?" "Where else would new vampires come from?" "I assumed you bit people." "There are many hurtful stereotypes. May we come in?"
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Currently trying to talk the girlfriend into the weirdest double feature ever
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Good pitch.
they should do an air bud-style hockey movie where jason from friday the 13th becomes a goalie on a college team and he's really good—downside is that when he's not playing he's killing a lot of the kids at the school
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Yes it is
“Raise hell. Praise Dale” is not an appropriate response when we ask you why you were speeding.
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The news is getting a little too exposition-y
Russian authorities are responding to an incident in which a suspected dangerous infection was released as a result of a laboratory accident in Siberia and a researcher died. cnn.it/3Ubwb4F
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An alarming amount of my mental well being is tied up in this new Mummy movie being good
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This take is both brave and correct. In-N-Out burgers are fine and their fries are garbage. Not worth the hype or absurdly long wait time
I'm sorry NASCAR industry but In-N-Out is like a hitter with a .175 batting average that some people think should be MVP
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french is a fundamentally unserious language
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