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Me: Imagine if every tear was an egg and every time you started crying there was 10-50 broken eggs on you. You leave a funeral and it’s like “crunch crunch crunch” (if the person was beloved).
Genie: That's your wish?
Me: No, we're just talking. Just being Friends right now.
My gf (658 mermaid) has been talking to her ex (473 Greenland shark) and he is threatening to bite and chew my legs (28-inch inseam)
Made a new scraptraption.
It’s a contraption made of scraps.
ALT An old folding table on a platform with wheels. A thickness planer is attached to the table, and an extended bed is built out with old shelving.
Don’t say “eat my dust” unless you got the foot torque to kick some dust into my mouth during your getaway. My spit better be grey for at least three spits.
I learned how to sharpen my hand plane and it’s going to be very difficult for anyone to neutralize my ego moving forward.
ALT An extremely sharp hand plane pulling a delicate ribbon of wood from a board of rough lumber.
Nate retweeted
Tried to buy some bread and the store lady wouldn't let me. Said I "didn't seem that hungry". I didn't seem "excited enough" about the bread. Came back the next day with a big smile on my face. Guy at the register wouldn't sell it to me. Said I looked too excited about the bread.
