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📖 THE LOST JOURNALS OF DEGEN NAKAMOTO
Entry #011: The First Investor? 🐿️🌱
The squirrel returned.
This time, he brought something unexpected.
Not money. Not a nut.
A mysterious seed.
Degen is officially calling it seed funding. 😂
📖 A new page uncovered every weekday at 2:12 PM ET. 🟠 $ULTO
#crofam #cro #ulto
Applied for a position as Chief Financial Officer today.
They asked about my experience managing large sums of money.
I told them I once created a billion-dollar supply problem and have been systematically destroying the evidence ever since. $ULTO
They asked for references.
I gave them Satoshi’s email.
Apparently, “financial genius” and “person of interest” are two very different qualifications.
Their loss. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
Binance gets hacked and the crypto world goes into panic mode.
Meanwhile, I’m over here on Crypto.com, wondering why anyone would bet against the #crofam.
Fortune Favours the Brave.
Not the compromised.
Satoshi built Bitcoin.
I’m building chaos on Cronos with an immortal cartoon flame.
The future is orange. And so is my completely unjustified confidence. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
I’m not publically endorsing any shit coins….
However, I find it of peculiar irony to note that $USST is currently holding up better than 97% of the entire crypto market.
If there ever was a time for some shit to shine.
Well done @USSTonCro. 🫡
To think…Satoshi questioned my decision to launch $ULTO on Cronos.
Who is laughing now you wanna be degenerate! $BTC
Crypto.com is not affected by the cybersecurity attack on Binance. The Crypto.com platform is operating as usual and all funds are safe.
Our teams are actively blocking any addresses connected to the hack. We reached out to Binance to offer help.
Thank you @crobrocode for your awesome contract scan!
1st largest wallet for $ULTO is the liquidity pool.
2nd largest wallet for $ULTO is the dead wallet.
33.23% of the circulating supply is gone FOREVER.
Just like I’m about to make Satoshi’s credibility.
Lock in bitches. 💀🟠
Pull up!! We are staying on space until our bitch asses nut up and graduate @crobrocode!!
Sitting in a coffeehouse this morning, quietly observing the people around me. ☕
Nobody has a clue.
The barista thinks I’m just another guy ordering a latte.
The gentleman beside me is reading the news.
A woman across the room is checking her retirement account.
And here I sit, casually plotting the greatest financial revolution since my brother invented Bitcoin.
Nobody knows what’s coming.
Including me.
But $ULTO does.
And when an immortal cartoon flame tells you he’s about to rewrite financial history, you don’t ask questions.
You finish your latte and prepare to become insufferable. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
Ulto retweeted
The $ULTO by @ultocro trading contest is live on @ObsidianSwap
10M $ULTO (~$130+) in rewards for the top 3 traders
Hit the gym this morning. 💪
Satoshi spent years building the strongest decentralized financial network in history.
I’ve decided to build stronger shoulders.
Bench pressed 190 pounds and immediately began calculating how much ULTO’s market cap would increase if I could bench 250.
$ULTO spotted me.
He’s a cartoon flame. He has no idea how to spot.
Nearly died.
But you cannot disrupt the global financial system with a weak upper body.
Tomorrow is leg day.
I’ve already filed for an exemption. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
When we were kids, Satoshi buried $20 in the backyard and drew a treasure map.
He sold me the map for $15.
I spent six hours digging.
Found the $20.
Then he informed me the treasure was subject to a $19 excavation fee.
Mom called him a financial prodigy.
I called the police.
They told me to stop wasting their time.
Twenty years later, he invented Bitcoin.
I invented $ULTO.
And I’m still trying to recover that $14. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
I’ve decided $ULTO is going to take over Cronos.
I have not consulted the developers, validators, or anyone with a functioning understanding of blockchain infrastructure.
Frankly, I don’t see why that’s necessary.
ULTO is immortal. I’m a financial genius. And the CROFam has demonstrated a concerning willingness to encourage me.
That’s three competitive advantages.
Satoshi had a whitepaper.
I have a cartoon flame, an army of degenerates, and absolutely no adult supervision.
This is no longer a cryptocurrency.
It’s a hostile takeover of common sense. 💀🟠
- Degen Nakamoto
I am not here to bring stability to Cronos.
I am not here to restore order.
I AM THE CHAOS. 🔥 $ULTO
Satoshi built Bitcoin with discipline, patience, and mathematical precision.
I accidentally minted a billion tokens and declared war on basic arithmetic.
And now I’m going to burn my way to 21 million.
One million. Two million. Whatever it takes.
If I have to burn the entire supply myself, I’ll do it.
My brother created a financial revolution.
I’m creating a financial incident.
And the chain will never be the same. 💀🟠
LOCK IN BITCHES.
- Degen Nakamoto
🤖 Made with AI
