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Joined May 2018
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Tread lightly around me tonight
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If I ever tell you I'll fly you out im not joking I'm terribly alone
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Women should never see power
one of my closest coworkers got promoted to management. she swore up and down that she would be the cool manager who would advocate for the people below her. fastforward one month and she's become one of the strictest and least understanding out of all of management.
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If I reply to your tweets I probably want to fuck you
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Life is utterly meaningless without a beautiful coworker to simp for
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My life fucking sucks
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Let’s all write the name of that girl we haven’t talked to in 5 months all over our bodies in permanent marker
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I’m relapsing on tweeting
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I was terrorized in my sleep by images of a beautiful woman who no longer wants me
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Got no change sorry brother
This quoted post is unavailable.
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Scrolling twitter in new employee orientation I never gave a fuck
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Hello Japan, it's Saturday in America so we are shooting guns. This is a French Cold War sniper. Maybe we can all rejoice on this fine day and celebrate our likeness.
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Math appreciation quote
Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day! 10/24/26 10² + 24² = 26² This is the last one we’ll experience in our lifetime.
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920
user retweeted
i’ve been thinking about you
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Sending a text and then googling the word you just used with 51% confidence
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Modern “art” ladies and gentlemen
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The phaaaaaaantoom of the opera is there….
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Ordered my meal in English but whipped out “gracias” at the end
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Nothing lasts (positive)
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Ryan gosling singles are incredibly good man I’ll never get over this phenomenon
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