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I like going to Waffle House, pretending that I can't decide what to order and then seeing how many fans of wordplay are at the table.
I do full bars every year because I want to be THAT house. The house I remember to this day. This year 7 kids called me the GOAT. Greatest Halloween of my life and I’m 46.
A new survey reveals couples experience an average of 18 intimacy interruptions annually. Top interruptions include kids, pets, unexpected guests and the leering gaze of Liberty Biberty.
Halloween candy sales are struggling this year as high prices squeeze consumers. Yeah man, my candy budget didn't go too far this year. After my 10th trick-or-treater they're going to have to pick one piece my scrap wood pile.
Lay's is launching a Holi-LAY'S collection featuring five holiday-inspired flavors: Roasted Turkey, Scalloped Potatoes, Maple Bacon, and the viral Dubai Chocolate. My favorite holiday flavor didn't make the cut. Guess I'm on my own for Blackout Parlay this year.
A New Mexico judge has ordered Meta to pay $25 billion after a trial found the company lied about how it handled Facebook user data. And even worse? Your Uncle Gene declared that Facebook does not have permission to use his pictures!
Mountain Dew's KFC-exclusive Sweet Lightning flavor is being discontinued after KFC ends its Pepsi partnership in December. Sorry Southside hummingbirds I've slowly gotten horribly addicted to it, guess it's going to be a rough start to 2027.
One in five U.S. adults regularly turns to TikTok for news. I try but it's just thicc goth baddies and that girl with the absolute dump truck taking batting practice.
35% of home buyers think sellers should have to disclose ANY death that occured at the property. Physical deaths or like the slow death of realizing that always choosing the safe option has left you wondering what could have been with what little time you have left. What?
Watch ONE video of a farrier cleaning an infected hoof…
Facebook Algorithm: THIS GUY LOVES INFECTED HOOVES SHOW HIM 350 OF THEM NOW!!!!
22% argue with their in-laws over lifestyle choices. My mother in law hates that I am poor but I have to remind her how much poorer I'd be if I didn't marry her daughter!
The sixth measles death in the U.S. has been recorded as the outbreak begins to spiral out of control. At this stage it is almost as deadly as a Six Flags roller coaster.
Arby's has added Chicken Cheesesteaks to its menu for a limited time at participating locations nationwide. Perfect for guys like me that love the taste of a good cheesesteak without all the cost and dignity of beef.
You ever doomscroll for like an hour, see nothing good, give up in disgust, close all the apps and toss the phone on the cushion next to you then like 2 minutes later you pick it up and give it another try like “maybe I missed the good sheeeeeeeit in the back?”
A Crown Royal-commissioned survey of football fans found that 59% of diehard fans maintain at least one game-day ritual they won't skip. It's a survey of Crown Royal drinkers so the ritual is probably pissing their pants by the Witching Hour.
26% say their partner doesn't know their body count. I told my wife I could field an entire starting lineup. I did not tell her it was doubles tennis.
Papa Murphy's has brought back its seasonal Jack-O Pizza through Halloween. If we buy enough of them perhaps they will finally be able to afford that oven.

