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jack 🤍

@winter___fall

allowing my identity to be emergent, not prescriptive

Joined December 2023
  • Tweets4.1K
  • Following352
  • Followers439
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Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)Photo by jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)
wow! this is the theme of my entire twitter account and why i made it. all i want is to exist and be perceived. and no matter *what* i am doing or *how* i am perceived, it has like a 60% chance to bring up excruciating shame. i have to say this because it still happens
Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) profile pictureEric Alper 🎧
@ThatEricAlperOct 29
Image from Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper)
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sometimes i just don't want to cry and process for hours alone in my room. especially when the trigger for it is “i allowed myself to be perceived doing a normal thing”. that makes me feel totally broken. so much shame. worlds of shame
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in solitude is the only place i've cultivated any safety at all. i'd love to let help in, / reach out at times. i still feel far off from being able to do that though. but that's way closer than “impossible for me” which is how it has usually felt. so that's good
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anyone wanna do this together sometime
Image from jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)
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instead of looking at loading animations i like to close my eyes and take 1-2 deep breaths. replaces moments of impatience with self love
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yes my posting muscle is atrophied... some stuff happened today but idk how to post about it
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but maybe that's not quite right. i posted on my priv today, messily. i feel like i can do that there. i feel like here, i have to have value or provide something. i feel like it has to be important. feel like i have to know what i'm talking about and have thought about it a lot
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i like making a good post. i like thinking about something a lot, and knowing it's made for a good post. but i also like the posts that feel true to the moment and are just figuring it out in realtime as i go along.
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speed dating gave me gratitude for the relationships i have; i realized i kinda took for granted the people in my life who are... actually willing to know the first thing about me
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also, for me it was really huge and meaningful to go speed dating for the first time! i debriefed for hours with multiple people already, and could still talk for more hours. but i compressed my experience into one tweet. how absurd
jack 🤍 (@winter___fall) profile picturejack 🤍@winter___fallOct 26
i went speed dating yesterday. i found it fun to witness such a cursed context. being genuine was either unwanted or impossible. it just made me want to be socially online more instead
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fact checked: TRUE
universe sweetheart 💓🌈💭 (@univrsw3th4rt) profile pictureuniverse sweetheart 💓🌈💭
@univrsw3th4rt20 Nov 2023
Replying to @univrsw3th4rt
if being yourself in public is hard, try being yourself in private first
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my 0 follower priv has been popping off lately. wish i could show u guys but it's uh. against the rules
Image from jack 🤍 (@winter___fall)
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i went speed dating yesterday. i found it fun to witness such a cursed context. being genuine was either unwanted or impossible. it just made me want to be socially online more instead
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the opposite of a quitter is a beginner
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posting on my 0 follower locked alt is literally helping me so much, i've hit over 400 posts in about 4 days it is helping me differentiate between which expressions of mine i want to share and which i don't because sometimes i *need to express* yet don't want to be seen at all
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which is crazy. i had no idea the desire to express, and the desire to be seen, could be separated. i thought that needing to express meant i needed someone to see me i want both, i want to express and be seen, but i can really only take so much being seen at a time!
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and, the knowledge that my expression will be seen, can be a *huge* barrier to expressing what i really need to (for someone who is as scared to be seen as i am)
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