Valet Parker

I once had a dream that a man sexually assaulted my friend, and apparently my subconscious decided that the appropriate response was to become the final boss of medieval torture. Somehow, I managed to drug him, tie him up while he was unconscious, and wait patiently for him to wake up. What followed involved a thorn covered rose, and I used the thorn covered stem to sound him, once I had it worked in about 5 inches I grabbed his dick and squeezed it and then ripped the rose out. I then used a straw to sound him and once that straw was in poured salt and baking soda into the straw and then vinegar. Apparently, dream me was operating somewhere between a medieval executioner, a deranged florist and a fifth grade science fair project. Anyway I’m not entirely sure what this says about me psychologically, but I suspect Freud would have taken one look at my subconscious and immediately requested a transfer.

Awww look it’s me when I was only twenty and had no idea I was considered photogenic until a photographer told me so.

Since @Zp_Wellness remains absolutely FURIOUS that not every sex worker shares her personal history of working the blade, experiencing exploitation or getting arrested, I made her a little educational video. Apparently, if you haven’t suffered the way she has, you’re “privileged,” and if you’ve managed to build a successful career outside the industry, that’s somehow even more offensive. Imagine spending your days screaming “SLUT” and “PROSTITUTE” at women whose greatest crime is refusing to make your personal trauma their entire personality. The projection is breathtaking. The obsession is concerning. The self awareness is apparently still serving time. Anyway, enjoy the song. It seemed more appropriate than engaging in another battle of wits with someone who keeps arriving unarmed. After you watch it you’ll never unsee it. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what her profile photo reminded me of until today when I got to the school.

Me in 2006 vs me now

Just a little FYI for people who follow and dm SWers Please do not dm an SWer on Twitter asking how to book her, what her rates are or asking her to send you a link to her website. Women have lost accounts over what was said in dms and responding to you with booking information can put an account they’ve spent years building at risk. Instead, employ the ancient and mysterious art of Google. Search the professional name on her Twitter and the city she lists. If that doesn’t work, try her name and escort. For most established providers, everything you need to find their website and learn how to contact them properly is approximately one Google search away. It’s the same reason you shouldn’t be in an OF creator’s comments asking how to meet her in person. Different platforms have different purposes, and publicly accessible information exists for a reason. So if you’ve dm’d me asking how to book me or requesting my website and noticed I never responded, I wasn’t being rude. I was simply not risking my Twitter account because you outsourced a 12 second Google search to me. Protect the SWer. Use the search bar. Everybody wins.