Absurd World (@Absurd__World) | teapawt

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Absurd World retweeted

@Absurd__WorldOct 31

Unrest in Germany Berlin: A chaotic night. Fire and chaos in the streets. #Berlin #Protest

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@Absurd__WorldOct 31

🚨 Germany huge crowds gather around massive blazes during the Berlin demonstrations. 🔥 #BerlinNight #BerlinProtest

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@Absurd__WorldOct 31

Unrest in Germany Berlin: A chaotic night. Fire and chaos in the streets. #Berlin #Protest

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@Absurd__WorldOct 31

🚨 Fire and Chaos in Berlin: A Closer Look at the Riots. Watch the video for the latest on the situation. 🔥 #BerlinRiots #GermanyProtests

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

GTA 6 is three weeks away. I already got the day off work approved. My wife already got her mom's flight booked for the same day.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

Scariest words on Halloween night: "I need to pee." From a kid zipped inside a full-body dinosaur costume.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

My wife hid the Halloween candy twice. Once from the kids, once from me. The kids found theirs in ten minutes. I'm still looking.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

Halloween costume idea for married men: Go as a guy who was asked his opinion.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

Halloween at 12: get all the candy. Halloween at 40: lie on the floor upstairs with the lights off until the doorbell gives up.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 31

15 years of marriage. The most excited anyone's been to see me at the door is a kid dressed as a taco.

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@Absurd__WorldOct 30

When your aim is 0% but your confidence is 100% The struggle is real. 💯🐸

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@Absurd__WorldOct 30

The majestic beauty of glaciers, and a reminder of their fragility. Let's protect our Earth. 🌎💙

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@Absurd__WorldOct 30

Taking the in-flight experience to the next level. Witness stunning 360-degree views from above the clouds! ✈️

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 30

My toddler hugged me and whispered, "You're my best friend." My heart melted. Two minutes later, he told my wife where I hide the chips. For one cookie.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 30

I used to have standards. Now I have a wife who has enough for both of us.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 30

Me: "One room for two nights, please. Somewhere quiet. No kids, no calls, no responsibilities." Receptionist: "Sir, this is the maternity ward. Your wife is in Room 4."

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 30

A husband's "I'll do it later" and a wife's "Fine, I'll do it myself" are the same chore, 40 seconds apart.

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Absurd World retweeted

Green God@iGreenGodOct 30

I woke up feeling productive. Then I sat on the edge of the bed for 22 minutes. That was the productivity.

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@Absurd__WorldOct 30

Perfectly split in half! The Al Naslaa rock in Saudi Arabia has baffled people for 4,000 years. While some suspect ancient civilizations, scientists believe it's a natural wonder. 🪨🔪

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@Absurd__WorldOct 30

Not quite! It's a breathtaking illusion created by the alignment of clouds during a vibrant sunset. The sky never stops surprising us. ☀️

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