Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg) header
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Writer & Comedian!!! Pre-order my debut novel here: https://nitter.cf/t.co/j6kpCJEAn4

Los Angeles
Joined January 2011
Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)Photo by Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg)
Listen: at the Korean spa, chances are good you'll see a nude woman crying in the sauna. she might be w/ a friend or a relative or she might be by her herself. u may look at her quickly--w/ deep sympathy--but then u must look away. if u want, u can cry too. these are the rules.
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Aging is just your face going wide mode
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Was trying to explain the meaning of a poem to my college students and finally settled on “live…mas”
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Wish i could teach my college courses lying down (or laying down?)
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I fucking hate ai. I thought I was watching normal porn and then a woman had a tail….
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Me getting ready to do standup
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damn baby are you a turkey vulture? b/c you're ugly but very helpful!!!
Turkey vultures carry stomach acid strong enough to rival battery acid, and that chemistry turns each meal into a filter for pathogens that would kill most other animals. They are often treated as grim signs of decay. In practice they clean landscapes. Popular accounts put the pH of their gastric juice near zero, far more concentrated than human stomach acid, which is why they can eat carcasses loaded with microbes that would sicken livestock, wildlife, or people. That acid is widely credited with knocking down organisms linked to anthrax, rabies, botulism, and cholera as the meal is digested. By removing those carcasses, the birds cut a route that disease can take through an ecosystem. Their feeding looks ugly. The sanitary work is real.
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can't imagine what my therapists' notes are on me. still passive /avoidant reads a lot TOO MUCH PORNOGRAPHY?????
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Did Sally Field f*ck the octupus in that movie?
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I’m teaching at USC again this semester so i’ll be asking the students to send my screenplay to their dads 😉
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"they say round faces age well!!!" - me in my coffin
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Me: i need insulin to live!!! My insurance company: 🤔 have you tried syrup?
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How are dogs not getting pink eye every day????
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If there’s one thing dads love, it’s asking you why writing a new novel is taking you so long
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Amy Silverberg retweeted
"Which professional athlete do you find the most inspiring?" me:
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When I sleep, I count sheep detectives
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My students are so much more sophisticated than i was in college. They’re all making art, and writing short films about how they can’t c*m on antidepressants and i was sleeping with frat guys who thought my name was amanda
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Today my (American) friend decided to stop hooking up with a British guy who’s been stringing her along for years so happy Independence Day to my one friend
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Great to be a comedian!!! Every conversation with my manager is like, hey a club called “Tee Hee Tee Hoo Hee Ha” in the outskirts of Philly wants you to come perform for two five dollar bills and a baseball card!!!! (And i come running)
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I got news for u a lot of your boyfriends want to fuck a dragon from game of thrones
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