𝕄𝕠𝕣𝕖

My older brother and I haven't had a good relationship since childhood. When our parents divorced, he stayed with our father while I lived with our mother. During those years, my father was emotionally and physically abusive toward me. My brother knew some of what was happening, but he always insisted that I exaggerated things. He eventually moved abroad and built a successful life. I stayed behind and spent years trying to recover from the experience. We barely spoke after I turned eighteen. Last month, my brother contacted me with devastating news. Our father had been diagnosed with a serious kidney condition and needed a transplant. My brother had already been tested but wasn't a suitable donor. He asked whether I would consider getting tested. I initially thought he was joking. I reminded him that this was the same man who had made my childhood unbearable. The man who never apologized and never acknowledged what happened. My brother said our father was old now and had suffered enough. He told me that refusing to help would mean allowing someone to die when I might be able to save him. I asked whether he would make the same request if the person needing the kidney were a stranger. He said this was different because we were family. I became angry and told him that being related to someone didn't erase what they had done. Then he said something that stayed with me. He said our father had spent his final years asking about me and regretted the way he treated me. I asked why he couldn't tell me that himself. My brother admitted that our father was too ashamed to contact me. For several days, I couldn't sleep. Part of me wondered whether donating a kidney would finally free me from the anger I had carried for years. Another part felt that agreeing would send the message that my pain didn't matter as long as my father needed something from me. I eventually agreed to speak with a transplant specialist, but I made it clear that getting tested did not mean I had agreed to donate. My brother thanked me. My mother, however, believes I shouldn't even consider it. She says my father had decades to make things right and only seems interested in reconciliation now because he needs help. I don't know what I will decide if I am medically compatible. I know I don't owe anyone an organ. But I also know that whatever I choose will stay with me for the rest of my life. Would you consider donating an organ to a parent who abused you, especially if they had never properly apologized?