Chronic pain patients are expected to be sick, but never difficult. Be exhausted, but stay pleasant. Be scared, but don’t sound anxious. Explain your pain, but don’t sound emotional. Ask for help, but don’t ask too firmly. The moment we show frustration, it can become the story. Suddenly the focus shifts from what we’re dealing with to whether we’re being “cooperative” enough. That’s a cruel standard to put on people who are already hurting. We shouldn’t have to perform perfect calm to deserve to be heard.