Gregg Kite

Choose Your Band of Brothers Well The first fatherly warning in Proverbs, following the prologue in verses 1–7 on the importance of wisdom and fearing God, is for young men to beware of falling in with an evil tribe, gang, or group of friends (Proverbs 1:8–19). Despite what people tell you, men are not loners. We are very much pack animals. We want a band of brothers, not just to hang out with, but to do something with. We want to go on adventures together. Whether it’s hopping into a group chat to play through a video game campaign, building a treehouse deep in the woods, or starting a business together, men are looking for other men to do things with. And not just anything. We want to do difficult things, accomplish something, and improve our lot in life. We want to achieve something together, whether that’s increasing our status through our accomplishments, making money, or simply proving what we’re capable of. This is extremely normal. It’s how men are wired. And the wise father of Proverbs knows that. He understands the appeal of a group of guys saying, “Come on, join us. Let’s go do this thing together. Here’s what we’re going to accomplish, and here’s how we’ll all benefit.” In fact, that’s almost exactly how the wicked men in Proverbs 1 make their pitch: “Come with us” (v. 11). “We shall find all precious goods; we shall fill our houses with plunder” (v. 13). “Throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse” (v. 14). Notice the appeal. Join our group. Let’s do something daring together. We’ll all come out ahead. The father knows that a young man is going to have a hard time saying no. And that’s precisely why his warning is so direct: “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent” (v. 10). The answer, of course, is not to avoid hanging out with other guys and doing things that better your lot in life. It’s to recognize that plenty of people present themselves as wise men with good plans when they’re actually foolish idiots with schemes that are going to wreck their lives and yours. That’s exactly the father’s point. These men think they’re setting a trap for someone else, but they’re actually setting a trap for themselves (vv. 17–18). Their greed will ultimately destroy them (v. 19). Choose your band of brothers well. Do they come from good families? Do they have good fathers? If they didn’t have a good father, was there another man in their life who functioned like one, whom they deeply respect? Do their plans align with the Word of God? Are they appealing to your baser motives—vanity, greed, or lust? These are questions you need to ask. The father doesn’t merely tell his son to avoid committing the same sins as these men. He tells him, “Do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths” (v. 15). In other words, don’t join the group. Don’t throw in your lot with men who are going to lead you into destruction. Being alone is no fun when you’re created to run in a pack. But getting caught in the snare of your own sin because you can’t face loneliness is no way to live. Better to endure a season of loneliness than to join a band of fools who will drag you down with them.