Epically Fetch

BREAKING: An Iowa Democrat who dropped out of his race in September over health issues still won his State House seat comfortably, in a district that leans Republian. “I’m going to do my best to represent”, Eric Armstrong told NYT. “But I still have health issues.”

“It seems that anyone who still agrees with the message of your own campaign are now the enemy!” 💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯 Dear Donald…We The People would like to have a word… .@tsidpod .@DissidentMedia

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

Laura Loomer is demanding that Pam Bondi and the DOJ release the Epstein tapes that allegedly show who the clients are. She questions why, if the DOJ claims to possess these videotapes, the identities of the people in them remain unknown. “Why don’t we know the names of the people who were in the videotapes?”

The internet remains undefeated. The Jeffrey Epstein timeline (explained through The Big Lebowski)

NJ-bound plane that suddenly plunged likely hit by ‘cosmic rays’ from exploding supernova trib.al/7uTVFoH

Not supporting Trump doesn't mean you support the Democrats. You don't have to pick a side. You can choose liberty over both of them.

A lot of people who believe that the government is intentionally starving poor people are also the same ones who want the government to be the only ones with guns. It makes no sense.

I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I have a REALLY hard time believing in a short text exchange, the alleged shooter: > Makes his confession. > Confirms location of the weapon. > Confirms the type of weapon. > Confirms it was wrapped in a towel. > Confirms his motive. > Exonerates the decoy [George Zinn]. > Admits to the bullet engravings. > Confirms the wardrobe change. > Confirms how long he’s been planning it. > Discloses the existence and location of a [now destroyed] pre-written confession note. > Randomly tells his boyfriend that his dad is die hard MAGA (as if he wouldn’t already know given the nature of their relationship) > And is worried about his Dad/Grandpa being upset if he doesn’t come home with the rifle, not the fact that he just used it to commit a murder. Not to mention a 22-year old terminally online Zoomer using phrases like: “Squad car” “Drop point” “Swept the area” “My vehicle” “Till I died of old age” “My old man” I’m sorry, I just don’t believe it. H/T @urinalwallpoet @andrewmaga84

White Trash

What just happened? Last night, news emerged of a "trade deal" that has never happened before. Nvidia and AMD agreed with Trump to provide the US with 15% of REVENUE from chip sales in China to remove export controls. Corporations are panicking. Here's why. (a thread)

It’s absurd that one man sets interest rates for a “free” country. End the Fed.