Lindsay Clancy did not plan her children’s murders the day she did it. She started laying the groundwork for a trial 5 months prior. How do I know? The evidence is clear if you look through a nurse’s eyes. As an RN, the first thing we’re taught is that “if you didn’t document it, it didn’t happen” in regards to patient care. Lindsay was an L&D nurse. She heard that line in school and on every unit she ever worked. Callan was only a few months old when she began “seeking treatment”. She told doctors she was depressed and anxious. She did not tell them she was suicidal or homicidal. She knew exactly what those words do. One statement of intent to harm herself or the kids and she is in a locked unit. If they even suspected she wanted to hurt anyone, it would have unleashed a chain reaction that would prevent her from completing her plan. She wanted freedom and she knew just what lines not to cross to reach that goal. What she did do was write it down. Diary entries. Texts. Conversations with her husband and her mother. Thoughts of harming herself and the children. That paper trail exists for a reason. It is the documentation she knew a future jury would see. For months the pattern held: disclose the dark thoughts to family and to a journal. Minimize or deny them to the people who could actually help. Cycle through providers. We call that “doctor shopping” in the medical world and it’s a clear indicator of someone who wants specific medicines or is trying to avoid coordination between doctors. She KNEW the system and exactly how to use it. Collect prescriptions. Zoloft, Prozac, Seroquel, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan, Lamictal, amitriptyline—thirteen medications, more than thirty prescriptions. A nurse knows which side effects to report to get a med changed or dose adjusted. The list itself became the evidence she wanted. We don’t know if she ever took any of them except on the day of the crime. As a mom, if I were having actual thoughts of hurting my kids, I’d be the first one screaming it to every doctor, every nurse. I’d make sure I was locked away where I couldn’t actually hurt them. But not Lindsay. She did all she could to not be locked away. When the Women & Infants postpartum program discharged her after one day because she didn’t fit the criteria, the calendar was not on her side. Callan was eight months old. The cleanest “postpartum psychosis” window was already gone. She had to execute sooner rather than later. She planned it to the minute. As a nurse, she knew exactly how long it would take to strangle each child—about six minutes. She sent her husband on errands that would keep him out of the house long enough to kill all three and stage what was supposed to look like a suicide attempt. Her medical education ensured she knew EXACTLY how deep and what direction to cut her wrists to ensure she wouldn’t bleed out. She knew EXACTLY how deep and where to cut her neck to avoid hitting the carotid arteries, the jugular veins, or compromise her airway. She even knew jumping out a 2nd story window wouldn’t be fatal but would look dramatic to a future jury. Every cut, every decision was calculated, cold, and with the medical training to execute the plan flawlessly (the injuries she sustained were a miscalculation from landing wrong, not the fall itself). Lindsay Clancy is not a woman who “snapped with no warning.” or even one who was failed by her family and the healthcare system. She is a woman who spent months building a file and setting the stage so she could blame her crime on those very people while she could live out the childless life she dreamed of living.