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I’m SCREAMING why does my dad look like he’s about to drop a sick beat for Big Time Rush 😂 @StephenGlickman
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Tiktok may have been temporarily banned but Chili’s Triple Dippers are forever
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I am 33 years old and I still consider the first week of September to be more of a new year than January 1st
new pencil case new me x
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“sorry for the rant” ok but have u considered I’d catch a bullet for you ? Stand in a queue for hours if it meant seeing ur face in the end ? take the long way home bcs I love every second spent w you ? Have you? u silly lil friend of mine 🙄
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"you let your cat sleep in your bed!?" brother i would let my cat shoot a gun if he wanted to
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My 5-year-old told me a school friend gave him his address so he can go over for play dates.
The address:
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having a pet rlly shows u how pure love can be, like me n this lil creature love each other to DEATH and nvr held a conversation.
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They’re called deviled eggs because if you don’t like them you can go to Hell.
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february 29 isnt even a real date btw so anything you do today doesnt count. stay tuned for more life hacks
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why is that sometimes eggs are the most delectable meal you’ve ever had in your life and then randomly one day they’re an abomination and you have to choke them down like you’re being force-fed
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SHE WEAR SHORT SKIRTS I WEAR TSHIRTS SHES CHEER CAPTAIN AND IM ON DA BLEACHERS
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I’d rather answer a 4 am phone call to you asking for help rather than a 4 am phone call to come identify your body. Please call me




























