Harrison $co# Key, Ph.Balance°

If your toaster oven was a watch

To my enemies You are like Mercury compared to the sun

“Gary’s in the foyer” —random stuff I be saying to others about my dog Gary

Man don’t sleep on that almond joy. Taste way better when you old

I hate gay halloween wdym you're Nathan Fielder's eyebrow chickenpock scar

How can you even call yourself a strong woman if you didn’t fight with your dad over math homework

HEATHENS KEEP MOVING is a good name for a band

Ricky Jay's one of my all-time favorite performers and I love his New Yorker profile (1993) and especially this live show (free to watch) that David Mamet, one of his close friends, directed. This is the version that went on TV in 1996. Mesmerizing... archive.org/details/ricky_ja…

Holy cow best thing I've read in a long time nytimes.com/2026/10/02/us/mi…

Finally some good news

RIP but sounds like he knew what was comin

My friend Sal still has these from when he was 9yo and I would not be born for a decade but I still miss this

For the writers. The problem you’re having with the story is usually what the actual story is

Fantasy football is a cry for help

He lived like he died, near crossbows I guess

If we’re talking the full scope of American music, it’s a hard G

Congrats to all WFH parents whose kids are now/soon to be somebody else's blessing for eight hours a day

We need a Downton Abbey video game

Beauty trends are funny bc red lipstick used to be so sexy on a woman and now it makes them look insane

I'm usually an optimist but I'll never think of a band name better than Alice in Chains