IllusionVortex

8 culture shocks that hit me when I first arrived in China. I thought I was prepared. I wasn’t. 1. The staring and photo requests People would stop, stare, or ask to take pictures with me. Sometimes they asked. Sometimes they just did it. It took me a while to get used to the attention. 2. Squat toilets Almost everywhere I went at first had squat toilets. My legs were not ready. 3. The food Much of the everyday food felt completely unfamiliar. In my first week I mostly survived on the few things I recognized. 4. How safe it felt to leave things I could leave my bag and come back to find it still there. My Nigerian brain kept fighting me on this one. 5. How direct people were Conversations felt more straightforward than I was used to. Sometimes it came across as blunt. 6. Real-life Mandarin Even with the Chinese language I had learned, the speed, slang, and everyday conversations still felt overwhelming at first. 7. Paying for almost everything digitally Cash was rarely useful. WeChat Pay or Alipay for nearly everything. The first few times I froze at the counter. 8. School was different There was nothing like “sorting” a lecturer to pass an exam. What you wrote was what you got. No shortcuts, and I loved it. Which of these would have shocked you the most if you were in my shoes?

Have you ever scrolled past something so hilarious on your phone that holding in the laugh physically hurts? You can’t explain it over text, you just need the person in the next room to come look at the screen right now. In Mandarin, “come” is 来 (lái). Example: 你过来。 (Nǐ guòlái!) Come over here! Who’s the first person you call over when you see something crazy online?

Step outside for just two minutes and the heat hits you like an unwelcome warm blanket. Your forehead sweats, your throat feels like sandpaper, and all you want is a tall glass of ice-cold water. With this super El Niño heat, offering someone a cold drink feels like the highest form of kindness. In Mandarin, “to drink” is 喝 (hē). Example 你想喝什么？ (Nǐ xiǎng hē shénme?) What do you want to drink? What’s the one ice-cold drink saving you in this heat today?

Family and money will truly test people’s real character. Early this year, a cousin of mine reached out that he urgently needed money to buy a laptop for a remote job. Out of kindness and just wanting to support his hustle, I gave him the full amount interest-free. Fast forward 8 months later, he hadn’t paid back a single naira and kept claiming he was completely broke. Until last weekend happened...

Better say yes on the first ask, because bro has been rehearsing both the ring and the martial arts moves.

No matter how stressful your day has been, the moment good food hits the table, everything else pauses. Everyone loves a good meal, but sharing it makes it even better. To say “to eat” in Mandarin, we say 吃 (chī). Example 你来吃饭 (Nǐ lái chīfàn!) Come and eat ! Who is the first person you’re inviting over the next time you say 你来吃饭?