Jared Mello (@JaredMello33) header
Jared Mello (@JaredMello33) profile picture

Just a guy that says things about stuff. Often about sports & gambling. Co-host of the Sarcasm Speaks Podcast @sarcasm_speaks_

Boston
Joined May 2011
Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)
Jared Mello retweeted
The guy who kept Shaq and Charles Barkley in line on TV for 37 years used to spend his mornings shaving and dressing his son, who could barely move and breathed through a ventilator. Then he'd go to work and laugh with those guys all night like nothing was going on. Tonight Ernie Johnson said this season will be his last, and Barkley tried to thank him on air and couldn't get the words out. I don't think most people watching that clip know what Ernie was carrying all those years. He and his wife Cheryl adopted Michael from an orphanage outside Bucharest in 1991, when he was 3. He had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, and doctors didn't think he'd make it to his 20s. He lived to 33. When Ernie was home, getting Michael ready in the morning could take an hour and a half, and Ernie did the showering and shaving and dressing himself. In 2006 he told viewers he had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and by the end of October he was back at the desk while he was still going through chemo. When Michael died in 2021, Ernie wasn't on the show that week, and Shaq, Kenny and Chuck spent about six minutes trying to hold it together while they talked about a kid most of America never met. Then last year he had heart bypass surgery, and this summer he turned 70. Ernie's dad pitched in the big leagues and then called Braves games for decades, and he gave his son a rule Ernie's talked about forever: if somebody spikes you at second base, never rub. If you've ever wondered why nobody's been able to copy Inside, that rule is a big part of it. Barkley could say the dumbest thing imaginable, Shaq could fall out of his chair, Kenny could go running to the big board, and Ernie would just pick it up and bring it back to basketball with that yellow legal pad. Those three got to be chaos because the guy in the middle never made his own stuff the show. He still calls hosting a "get-to job," and he was calling it that the same year he buried his son. So when Charles Barkley, who's roasted pretty much everybody alive on live TV, can't finish a sentence to the man, that's why.
Charles Barkley and the guys give Ernie Johnson his flowers. This is a must watch. (via @ohnohedidnt24)
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Jared Mello retweeted
Just chizz'd my pants
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Jared Mello retweeted
ANYWAY! Have a wonderful 4th everyone. It’s our finest of the holidays. Come back with all 10 fingers on Monday, & throw a drink into the face of anyone who whines about any commie nonsense on Saturday. 🇺🇸
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Jared Mello retweeted
What happened to Sam Burns on the second hole?!?! CBS:
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Jared Mello retweeted
A LOT of sports betting discourse on the app today. If there's one piece of reading material that I would recommend for all bettors, it's The Logic Of Sports Betting by Ed Miller and Matthew Davidow. No matter what level of sports bettor you are, I think it's an important read. It will help you think about sports betting differently.
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My column on fact Bill Belichick was snubbed as a first ballot Hall of Famer: ✅Spygate was disqualifying for some ✅Facts I shared that should have overcome Spygate ✅Selectors now divided, some “embarrassed.” ✅Everyone should not answer for dissenters outkick.com/sports/bill-beli…
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Free shit! We’ll send a hoodie on the house to one of you when we reach 10K followers. New store coming next week. Retweet to enter.
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Jared Mello retweeted
Pay for YouTubeTV Pay for ESPN+ Pay for Disney+ Still cannot watch Monday Night Football MNF tonight. What a time to be alive.
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I refuse to purchase another streaming service in order to watch more games, I’ll look up the score in the morning 🫡
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Jared Mello retweeted
I remember around this time last year - Caleb Williams was entering the best situation for a rookie QB ever - Marvin Harrison jr was being drafted at the end of the 1st - Kyren was being relegated to punt returner - Breece Hall & CMC were the undisputed top 2 RBs - Malachi Corley was the next Deebo Samuel - Kimani Vidal was the sleeper of the year I’m very excited to see what we get wrong this year lol
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Jared Mello retweeted
The one Monday that the golf world anticipates for 51 weeks a year. Masters week starts today. #themasters
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A reminder before placing your bets today
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I don’t accept Sammy Sosa’s apology for taking steroids because I don’t need an apology. Thank you for putting on the show of a lifetime in 1998 and saving baseball.
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Jared Mello retweeted
Here is a list of all the Castellanos HR's during significant events -Apology for homophobic slur use on broadcast -Career threatening injury for Tatis - Eulogy for WW2 veteran - A 9/11 tribute video package on the air - Apology of opposing teams coach getting a DUI - 10 minutes after will smith slapped Chris rock - Dwayne Haskins death -Memorial Day tribute package on air - Eulogy for the just deceased PA announcer for the stadium - Cancer announcement for his teams owner - Vin Scully death announcement - An hour after the death of Queen Elizabeth was announced - A bridge collapse killing several people -The Oceangate submarine explosion - 3 other celebrity deaths - 2 home runs on the anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki - Assassination attempt on Trump - Biden withdraws from the race
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Jared Mello retweeted
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People really don’t talk enough about how Angel Hernandez, arguably the worst MLB umpire of all time, tried to sue the MLB for racism for not assigning him to playoff games and in court the MLB just wheeled out a TV and showed how dogshit he was at his job
This quoted post is unavailable.
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If this was at Augusta, they would of already dug a tunnel from butler cabin to the jail and broken Scottie’s ass out like he was el chapo
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Scottie Scheffler getting cuffed before the PGA championship from a misunderstanding is one step away from shooting Derek Jeter in the tunnel before the World Series in The Other Guys
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Every company needs to take notes on this:
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Me bowing out of all responsibilities for the next four days…
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