Jared Mello (@JaredMello33) header
Jared Mello (@JaredMello33) profile picture

Just a guy that says things about stuff. Often about sports & gambling. Co-host of the Sarcasm Speaks Podcast @sarcasm_speaks_

Boston
Joined May 2011
Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)Photo by Jared Mello (@JaredMello33)
Jared Mello retweeted
The guy who kept Shaq and Charles Barkley in line on TV for 37 years used to spend his mornings shaving and dressing his son, who could barely move and breathed through a ventilator. Then he'd go to work and laugh with those guys all night like nothing was going on. Tonight Ernie Johnson said this season will be his last, and Barkley tried to thank him on air and couldn't get the words out. I don't think most people watching that clip know what Ernie was carrying all those years. He and his wife Cheryl adopted Michael from an orphanage outside Bucharest in 1991, when he was 3. He had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, and doctors didn't think he'd make it to his 20s. He lived to 33. When Ernie was home, getting Michael ready in the morning could take an hour and a half, and Ernie did the showering and shaving and dressing himself. In 2006 he told viewers he had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and by the end of October he was back at the desk while he was still going through chemo. When Michael died in 2021, Ernie wasn't on the show that week, and Shaq, Kenny and Chuck spent about six minutes trying to hold it together while they talked about a kid most of America never met. Then last year he had heart bypass surgery, and this summer he turned 70. Ernie's dad pitched in the big leagues and then called Braves games for decades, and he gave his son a rule Ernie's talked about forever: if somebody spikes you at second base, never rub. If you've ever wondered why nobody's been able to copy Inside, that rule is a big part of it. Barkley could say the dumbest thing imaginable, Shaq could fall out of his chair, Kenny could go running to the big board, and Ernie would just pick it up and bring it back to basketball with that yellow legal pad. Those three got to be chaos because the guy in the middle never made his own stuff the show. He still calls hosting a "get-to job," and he was calling it that the same year he buried his son. So when Charles Barkley, who's roasted pretty much everybody alive on live TV, can't finish a sentence to the man, that's why.
Charles Barkley and the guys give Ernie Johnson his flowers. This is a must watch. (via @ohnohedidnt24)
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Did the regular camera guy have to take a piss? What is this? Back to back plays he had no idea where the ball was
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Jared Mello retweeted
Just chizz'd my pants
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All these refs in every sport just really can’t help themselves. I hope they all get replaced by robots
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Narratives and nostalgia aside…Should the Colts make a call on Marvin Harrison Jr? Pierce seems to be out for a while and they have no other alpha. Not that MHJ is that right now, but he’s got the talent and looks like he needs a change of scenery. Should be at his cheapest too
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Next year when he passes Barry Sanders
At what point on the all time rushing TD list is Josh Allen going to start pissing people off?
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If Ken Walker stays healthy, he’s going to be a MONSTER this year
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When you ask the DJ for sunglasses at night and he looks at you and goes “that’s a deep cut. I haven’t heard that since high school,” you feel old AF
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Hurts has 1 ring. Yes, that says something, but are people banging down the door in support of Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Mark Rypien, Doug Williams, or Jim McMahon (who has 2)? Hurts has never thrown over 3900yds or 25 passing TDs in his career. That’s not elite QB play
"The idea that Super Bowl rings end arguments seems to apply to everybody BUT Jalen Hurts." —@bykevinclark on Jalen Hurts' success being overlooked 🗣️
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Hurts Career: 57-25 rec / 17891yds / 110TD-45INT Rypien: 47-31 / 18473 / 115-88 Johnson: 72-53 / 29054 / 166-122 Dilfer: 58-55 / 20518 / 113-129 Williams: 38-42-1 / 16998 / 100-93 McMahon: 67-30 / 18148 / 100-90
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None of those guys blow the doors off. None of those guys were ever considered the GOAT. Some of them were even called “not that good” in their time. Winning a ring helps, but it doesn’t automatically make you Patrick Mahomes.
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I keep seeing everyone posting their Masters rejection and I haven’t gotten my email yet. There’s no way I got accepted, so they probably just threw my lottery entry away lol …and yes, I’ve checked my junk folder
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What is going on with all the Mahomes hate on this app? In 8 years as a starter he’s been to 5 Super Bowls, won 3 of them, went to 3 straight and last year was struggling and then got injured. All of the sudden he’s washed? He’s only 30. Fantasy football is ruining peoples brains
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There is not ONE QB I would rather have to be on my team, given the choice of the whole league. And not only am I not a Chiefs fan- I don’t particularly like them. I’m a Pats fan.
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Tom Brady had statistical down years in 2006, 2013 and 2019 and still won superbowls (4, 4, and 1 respectively) after each one. Mahomes will be fine. He might not win you a fantasy title, but I don’t think he cares much about that
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The truth about US Men’s soccer #USMNT is that this might be the ceiling. Can be competitive, make it to R16 and maybe R8 occasionally, but won’t ever compete for World Cups. The game just doesn’t have the same weight here as it does the rest of the world
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It would be fun to play that “what-if” game with athletes like Saquon, Tyreek Hill, LeBron, Kobe, Bryce Harper, etc. but the truth is, you’re not getting those guys in soccer when there are $30-50m per year deals up for grabs in the #NFL, #NBA & #MLB
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Leo Messi is the GOAT and he was given $20m to play in the MLS. The next highest paid player in the league makes $11m. You’re just not going to get our best athletes. You’ll maybe get the CoCo Crisp, Jamel Dean, and JJ Reddick. Never Deion Sanders, Mookie Betts, or Steph Curry
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