I was born. Now I am living. I want to be dead with my friends.
Austin, TX
Joined August 2010
- Tweets72.7K
- Following368
- Followers338
- Likes2.1K
Pinned Tweet
If I were a football player, they'd describe me as a real low-motor guy. A stay at home type of player. A quitter. A real piece of shit.
Gambling ad before Astros-White Sox started with "we expect runs in this series". Yeah, probably. Three game series, so I'm thinking at least 3 runs.
Changed out some tombstone connectors today because I don’t think they’re supposed to look like this
Besides the point, but conservatives always make the same musical reference (JD going to a performance with Usha, for example) because they’re uncultured losers. Same reason they always use “Born in the USA” and “Fortunate Son” at rallies.
Ned Lobster retweeted
The bullfrog in a tweed suit whose land I live on, came by to tell me they were busy planting this year's carrots. He proudly told me he still employs two gardeners, as his father did, though "only one maid." He then observed the rising spring sun and said "it's all diminishing."
Ned Lobster retweeted
(DMing girl) Life is so randommm it's like.. Whyyyyyy Lol. (logging into Albert Einstein role playing account) (DMing same girl) Life makes perfect since
