Joined April 2018
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I bought a Twitter Blue checkmark solely because the daily limit on my #MadlangaCommission threads kept choking my inner legal analyst. Yes, I paid Elon. I need a shower, a secular confession booth, and a lawyer to dissolve this spiritual stain.
Should I cancel this digital scarlet letter now, or wait until Justice Madlanga releases the final inquiry report?
Staying subscribed feels like funding a supervillain’s space programme just so I can live-tweet corruption testimony. The cognitive dissonance is deafening. 🙃
On the one hand, cancelling now means my threads get chopped up like a low-budget soapie. On the other hand, every single debit-order notification from X feels like a personal betrayal.
How am I out here funding the king of digital sleaze? 😭
Under Section 3(4) of the Commissions Act, a witness may invoke the privilege against self-incrimination. But that does NOT confer an automatic right to refuse ALL questions. The Constitutional Court clarified this in Secretary of the Judicial Commission v Zuma (2021).
So HOW will Khan's pending criminal prosecution affect his testimony? Which questions could potentially incriminate him? And how will the #MadlangaCommission protect his rights while pursuing the truth?
My R29.99 Shein advocate wig is now simultaneously studying Sections 12 and 35 of the Constitution AND the Commissions Act! 😭🤣🍿⚖️
Arrested right before testifying... coincidence or tactical pressure?
An arrest doesn't cancel a subpoena, BUT Section 35 rights against self-incrimination are officially ACTIVE!
The Shein advocate wig is scanning Section 35 of the Constitution!
#MadlangaCommission #FerozKhan
😭🤣 Riaz, at this point, even the examiners are confused! Every time we think we've answered the question, the facts change and another legal issue appears.
And that's where my confusion with the #MadlangaCommission's statement comes in. How can a deadline have expired when the event triggering it hasn't even occurred? 🤔
Suliman Carrim's lawyers' letter doesn't replace the eventual in-person reporting requirement, but surely it doesn't establish a breach of a deadline that hasn't started either?
Unless there's a subsequent court order we're unaware of, the Shein School of Law is standing firmly by its reading comprehension!😭
EIGHT LUXURY VEHICLES that the SIU is STILL trying to locate in the Hangwani “Morgan” Maumela Tembisa Hospital investigation.
#MadlangaCommission
And the Shein School of Law has QUESTIONS! 👀🍿
The Special Tribunal has already ordered disclosure of assets, including those held through companies, trusts or beneficial ownership arrangements. So my questions are:
WHO are the registered owners of these eight vehicles?
WHO last had possession of them?
WHERE are the registration records, insurance policies, dealership transactions and transfer documents?
And have all parties subject to the disclosure orders complied FULLY?
The Shein School of Law has gone from tracing R10 million investments to investigating R900 million preservation proceedings, and now we're conducting an international-standard SUPERCAR INVENTORY! 😭🤣
My R29.99 advocate wig is officially requesting a vehicle-tracking specialist!
The Shein School of Law just compared the court order to the press release.
The Press Release - Attorneys failed to report within 48 hours.
The Signed Court Order - THE ACCUSED must report 48 hours AFTER RELEASE.
Suli is still locked up on the Musina docket, THE CLOCK HASN'T EVEN STARTED TICKING! #MadlangaCommission #SulimanCarrim
Writing a courtesy letter while your client is physically detained isn't a breach, it's a procedural placeholder. Right??
We started with a doctor's note at the #MadlangaCommission, moved to a R100k bail order, and now we're debating whether a lawyer's LETTER constitutes procedural compliance!
The Shein School of Law is no longer just studying criminal procedure, WE ARE LIVING INSIDE THE EXAMINATION PAPER!
BREAKING FROM THE #MadlangaCommission!
Jeremy Michaels confirms.. #SulimanCarrim's lawyers sent a "FYI email" about his bail condition instead of arranging his commission appearance.
The Commission says: "Sending us the judgment isn't taking initiative. BAIL CONDITION BREACHED.
The Shein advocate wig is spinning!
The Shein School of Law's Dubai campus proposal is drafted, the budget readers are prepped.
#MadlangaCommission
Suli’s bail affidavit dropped a DUBAI DISCLOSURE! Offshore Asset - R2.6m vehicle in Dubai
Banking - Dubai Bank Account
CPA Section 60(6) - Does a R100k bail forfeiture deter a R50m global portfolio?
The Shein advocate wig is scanning international asset registers.
#MadlangaCommission #SulimanCarrim
Having offshore bank accounts and vehicles in Dubai is lawful, but in a Schedule 5 bail hearing following an airport arrest, it gives the prosecution a stack of Section 60(6) ammunition.
The magistrate will be balancing those offshore financial anchors against strict passport surrender, reporting conditions,and local fixed properties before delivering the reserved judgment.
Suli appearing in court in ALO YOGA is the legal fashion crossover I never saw coming!
🧘♂️ Top: Premium Beverly Hills Athleisure
📄 Bottom: 100-Page Bail Affidavit
🏢 Venue: Kgosi Mampuru II Weekend Remand
My R29.99 Shein advocate wig is demanding a high-fashion courtroom runway!
#MadlangaCommission #SulimanCarrim
Suli spends the weekend at Kgosi Mampuru II while the magistrate reviews the paperwork.
#MadlangaCommission #SulimanCarrim
The whiteboard is packed, and the court registries are locked for the weekend!
My R29.99 advocate wig is double-pinned, my budget readers are fully operational, and the Shein Court is monitoring the Musina Magistrate's Court ruling. #MadlangaCommission
Declaring R50 million in assets while explaining that your staff accidentally tried to take two financed vehicles across Beitbridge with fake bank stamps while you were in a hospital bed is proper storytelling.
But as every candidate attorney knows at the Shein School of Law, the magistrate looks at risk mitigation, docket strength, and Section 60(11) CPA requirements... not literary page counts.
To determine whether Suli gets bail, the magistrate will be looking past the 100 pages of text and asking for four hard evidence logs:
The Absa Written Request Log - Who logged the official request for cross-border authorisation with Absa's asset finance division prior to 22 July 2026?
Metadata & Cell Tower Records - Do the cell tower pings, WhatsApp chats, and voice notes between Carrim and his co-accused (Mussa and Zakes) link him directly to the arrangement of the border paperwork?
The Section 38(1)(b) Employment Contracts - If Mussa and Zakes were employed to drive his fleet without valid Home Affairs employment visas, how does he account for their direct instructions?
Co-Accused Section 204 Statements - IIf one of the drivers opts for a plea-and-sentence agreement with the NPA, does their sworn statement implicate Carrim as the mastermind behind the fraudulent clearance letters?
Adjusting my Shein advocate wig, tightening my budget readers, and pulling up the Musina Magistrate’s Court affidavit ledger, because THE "HOSPITALISATION DEFENCE" HAS ENTERED ITS SECOND SEASON!😭🤣
#MadlangaCommission
1. The "Hospitalisation" Alibi - He claims he was admitted to a healthcare facility in July 2026 when Mike Phiri Mussa and Ibrahim Zakes departed Mahikeng with the two Absa-financed cars.
2. The Prior Authorization Precedent - He argues that his employees previously drove company fleet vehicles to Malawi in 2025 without incident, establishing an ongoing course of business conduct.
3. Denial of Uttering & Forgery - He asserts he had no knowledge of the allegedly forged Absa cross-border clearance letters produced at the Beitbridge border post on 22 July 2026.
4. Net Assets Declaration - He declares a personal net worth of R50 MILLION in fixed property, business interests, and local accounts to prove deep economic ties to South Africa.
5. The "Trumped-Up" Claim - He alleges the SAPS Commission's Recommendations Task Team and NPA are weaponizing the Musina docket to keep him detained because he missed his Madlanga Commission subpoena.
