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lars

@MindBytes

This is my version of sarcastic font.

 in your head
Joined July 2011
  • Tweets6.8K
  • Following805
  • Followers3.5K
20Media
Photo by lars (@MindBytes)Photo by lars (@MindBytes)Photo by lars (@MindBytes)Photo by lars (@MindBytes)Photo by lars (@MindBytes)
The balancing act of staying detached but connected.
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welcome to the age where you now tell everyone they parked like a dick
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it’s comforting to see you all here. i’ve missed the funny
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I hope this email finds you in a smoky room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume.
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"Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas." - The Three Wise Men
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What I love about American politics is the calm, gentle rational approach everyone has to it. The utter logic and intelligence. Awesome.
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my favorite holiday tradition is explaining the rules of a new board game my family never wanted to play in the first place
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Guys, I gotta run. I left the fire place video streaming.
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When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”
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When you die, your hoodies are redistributed to all of your exes.
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Curious George never asked one question. The lies are endless.
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One day you’re young and cool and the next thing you know you’re dusting your baseboards because people are coming over.
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Let's make this go viral! I’m so excited to announce that my first book, 'The Maguire Method' is now available for purchase. For those who have rocked with me for years or you’re new here, I’ve dedicated much of my life to providing creative inspiration, entrepreneurial support, and guidance when I can. Writing this book was the toughest and most heartfelt challenge I’ve accepted to date. This book is dedicated to anyone ready to claim their mental space and forge ahead in today’s age. This is a game-changing handbook and with your support, it’s an even bigger movement. So, get your hands on your copy today at a.co/d/2bqK9Cl & join a movement that celebrates growth, resilience, and the power of transformation for everyone.
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Wheel of fortune but to determine how much you owe in taxes.
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he’s a 10 but abbreviates the word you
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Friend: Have you been using that gym membership card I gave you for Christmas? Me: All the time! Just this morning I used it to scrape ice off my windows and yesterday I used it to cut a cake.
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Sorry I’m late, I was busy proving my existence to an automatic faucet again.
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Group assignments are important because that's where you learn that everybody else is an idiot and if you want a good grade, you have to do everything yourself. That was the lesson, right?
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I need a school spirit day that’s called My Parents Didn’t Read That Email.
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