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October and Q4 are finally here.
I took September as a transition period from having no time and running around with a kid full-time to having A LOT of time for myself, since said kid is now officially in school.
I find myself at a crossroads of sorts, and whatever I decide to do, or not do, over the course of the next year will determine our path as a family for many years to come.
I'd be lying if I said I am ready, or that I am not scared.
I am scared shitless.
But determined to give it one more try.
One last hurrah before hitting the desk or going back to academia.
Except this time, I ACTUALLY DO HAVE TIME to focus.
So what changed?
I entered crypto as a pregnant woman, with all the connotations that that entailed at the time.
I learned about the simplest things during the first year of my kid's life. Think MCAP vs FDV. Think LPs. Think an act as simple as bridging.
Then things spiraled from there. Airdrop farming. Design and art commissions. Some VERY unsuccessful perp trading adventures. Lots and lots of bagholding in spot - mainly because I was a delusional believer in many of those projects.
Also, risk taking is not exactly hardwired into my brain due to my upbringing and environment.
All of that was crammed in alongside being a mother, juggling a toddler's livelihood, safety, early learning, skills and basically everything else that came with being the primary parent, away from my immediate family.
So TIME - and focus - were my major complaints.
Being (almost) the only companion to a child is not an easy feat. I am not a person who settles. I've always been the studious, high-achiever type, so I spent a lot of time trying to get my kid to read, write, discuss, learn logic and reason by the time he was literally 4.
Very proud of what we achieved on that front so far.
But I've been noticing something this past month, now that I have more time.
"Brain atrophy" as @jords mentioned it in his podcast is a real thing.
Spending most of my time with a small child means limited vocabulary, limited ability to express deep or long thoughts properly, and diminished reading and writing time - which leads to diminished skills in general.
Combine that with the degeneracy of crypto that I have thrown myself into over the past few years and the scrolling culture we've all been sucked into as well...
And you get an overtired, exhausted mother who is SCARED shitless that she has lost the plot for herself.
And that's the last 5 years in a nutshell.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and @jordspodcast actually pushed some of these thoughts further for me. There's something about hearing other people articulate the specificity of this space and the lives we've built around it - that makes you stop and look at your own situation a little differently.
I am still learning.
Still trying to find an edge in an ever-changing market.
Still trying to figure out where I actually fit into all of this.
But the crossroads are real.
And, honestly, this feels like my last chance of "making it".
And by making it, I mean a million in the bank, a small farm somewhere over the Mediterranean, and lots and lots of time to travel with my child.
does it sound like a generic dream when I write it down?
But I would genuinely love to take him to every continent by the time he's 10 or so.
To that end, and to this dream, I will give it everything I have this time around.
There is no Plan B.
Plan B is just life happening.
I'd much rather spend my days learning about privacy onchain, understanding how these systems actually work, finding weird edges in markets and building things than sitting at a desk drawing plans to renovate someone else's kitchen.
Maybe that's naive.
Maybe I'm massively underestimating how difficult this is.
Maybe a year from now I'll be writing a very different post.
But for the first time in years, I actually have the time to find out.
So let's see what happens :)
.@machibigbrother gib trial account I promise I'll get liquidated less than 8 times today 🫡
I expected us to nuke significantly more on news of this hack
Is the dump coming or are “bull markets” really immune to 6.3 billion dollars BINANCE hack!
If that’s the case LFG!
Bottom ticked a few charts for 30-40% gains
I quite like this type of trading, let’s see how it goes :-)
There are at least 10 houses for sale on my street and the one behind me. TEN. 😭
I’ve never seen this many “For Sale” signs in my area.
Is this what a buyer’s market looks like? Because the FOMO is real and I might actually cry. Damn it.
OH MY GOD DO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS CARD 😱
The kindest community out there and that matters a lot to me ♥️ @0xAlphaGEMs
Would you recognise the comfort of solitude without having known the familiarity and warmth of company,
or appreciate the fullness of a family table when all you’ve known is eating alone?
The timeline is raving about Black Monday today think it might be time to listen to the latest @jordspodcast on doomerism.
Late night workout here I come...
Self doubting, uncertainties, sadness and PAIN are just part of life for sensible people.
This resonated with me a lot frog.
Also, believe in yourself man stop waiting for anyone else to live your life
I went full time hustling with basically nothing to my name cause i knew my path was not the one everyone else chose for themselves, yes it’s hard it is fucking hard but man what’s the other option? This life sucks otherwise
This life sucks unless you believe in yourself and move the world because something bigger than you is heating inside
Stop blaming anyone for your shit, take control of your godamn life
And i dont want this to sound like I look down on my own people it really just comes from my heart because I know those words will resonate inside the right minds out there
My head is filled with doubts, uncertainties, sadness and pain too but this is just the way life is for sensible humans, this is the price we have to pay for everything else that makes being human and alive amazing, just look around
You are not alone but you are alone and you will have to accept the way it is
Happy 10th of October and may it never be as bad as that date ever again!
Aren't you guys glad it's been a year already!
SamZ retweeted
So many people have DM’d me about this trailer and I’ll be honest, watching it made me physically throw up.
I was COO from before FTX even had a name, it was my baby, and I was the last one out of the Bahamas after Sam got extradited. I lost everything I had on it and it took me a long time to get over, so I have zero interest in defending the people who caused this.
The media loves the story that FTX blew up because we were all partying in the Bahamas, but the place I worked looked nothing like that.
We had under 200 people in the core company at its peak, not counting subsidiaries, when other exchanges our size had thousands, so a lot of us were doing 16 to 18 hour days for over three years and barely had time to sleep, and whenever we walked in, day or night, Sam was at his desk.
I worked with Caroline and never once saw her get aggressive like she does in this trailer. She’s quiet and mild, and often lost in her own thoughts.
Most of us didn’t even know she and Sam were dating until we read about it after the bankruptcy, and I never saw him so much as put an arm around anyone.
FTX’s collapse ruined so many people’s lives, including ours, and Netflix decided to make it a love story.
Shame on you @netflix.
