William Keaton (@Script_Samurai) header
William Keaton (@Script_Samurai) profile picture

Writer. Professional kitchen sink thrower. Repped by AAO Entertainment. https://nitter.cf/t.co/jo21qzN4xB

Joined December 2011
Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)Photo by William Keaton (@Script_Samurai)
You know you’ve had too much to drink when you try to speak and it comes out in perfect Klingon
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Happy pre Halloween 🎃 🍷
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The gutless moron, Officer Trenton Ryan Garner, who still has not been fired, says he has qualified immunity in the killing of baby Hee-Haw. This is what made him in fear of his life
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Broken elbow stairs is almost complete
My steps are almost done. It’s called the broken elbow stairs (I hurt my elbow building them)
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Replying to @ingelramdecoucy
They could at least do it in public schools and universities
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You know what prevents this? Drivers not stopping on railroad tracks. Even if it wasn’t the law, basic intelligence says you never cross railroad tracks unless you can clear them
🚨🚨🚨:Spain’s high-speed rail: the advanced safety system failed, so the control center “inexplicably” ordered the train to proceed at full speed into a stationary one. At least 68 people helped prove how well that design works. Two days earlier in Poland, a tanker trapped at a level crossing only survived by breaking the barrier in the final seconds — a live demo of the “don’t enter if you can’t exit” rule. Apparently the safety systems are mostly for writing reports afterward. When it actually matters, you’re still better off breaking the barrier yourself.
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Oh this is terrible. God bless
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to: Johns Hopkins Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center Fund    alzresearch.org/giving/ Alzheimer’s Foundation of America Caregiver Resources     alzfdn.org/donate/ Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia
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Man, I aint got no Publix or Kroger near me
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Replying to @faustiantulpa
I can’t find them anywhere around me. I know they have them in Florida so I’m gonna look for them when I’m down there
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Have you ever had a Clearly Canadian?
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On the menu tonight: Smoked pulled pork bbq with coleslaw and Old Bay crab chips
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“I was already full — off a large serving of disrespect.” I’m stealing this
This was an email a friend of mine got from a kid in her department at the college she works at
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She’s about to turn your ass into a damn house plant
BREAKING: Acne Studios taps former Balenciaga artistic director Martina Tiefenthaler as Creative Director
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“Goodnight, baby. Tomorrow we’re going to Lowe’s”
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William Keaton retweeted
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My steps are almost done. It’s called the broken elbow stairs (I hurt my elbow building them)
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His name is Skeeter and he also made a nuclear reactor in his backyard from his meemaws old refrigerator
La Norteamérica profunda tiene buenos ingenieros.
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