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https://nitter.cf/t.co/shKPWS5UcB Dog ate my bio

Canada
Joined April 2020
Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)Photo by Adrian Dad (@StyloDad)
I told my kids that they had enough Halloween candy and then I woke up in the oven
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Adrian Dad retweeted
Show me on the voodoo doll where the girl from Twitter hurt you
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Canadians are watching our elections the way you watch your drunk neighbor attempt to launch fireworks from his garage.
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There comes a time in everyone's life when you hear the newest slang and you decide that you don't care enough to know what it means.
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Adrian Dad retweeted
Goodnight, Moon. No, you hang up first, Moon.
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Adrian Dad retweeted
I don鈥檛 like the person I become when my team wins and my husbands loses.
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[coming out of the womb] I'm not here to make friends
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Maybe we should give Waldo some space
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*becomes a librarian for the shushing*
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I have deleted Facebook, which means I will no longer know who died fatter than I am, or later than I'd hoped.
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Silent no more. It's time we call perfume in purple bottles what it is: hussy water.
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Arms should be removable at bedtime.
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how to achieve the perfect smokey eye: apply eyeliner yesterday
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Okay, these chores aren't going to postpone by themselves
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Adrian Dad retweeted
My fantasy team had a players only meeting yesterday
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The skeletons in my closet are forming a mariachi band
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It's a good thing that I have never been given access to an arena's t-shirt cannon because I would aim for people no more than six feet away from me who aren't paying attention.
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THEY'VE CHANGED THE ALPHABET SONG
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I'll take my ice cream in a bowl and none of yer sass.
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[coming home from work, seeing neighbors socializing on my front lawn] drives past my house
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