… except now they are! Look beyond the headlines. Reality now indistinguishable from satire and parody. Here for the 😂 and occasional 😡😤 Frequent sarcasm.
Somewhere, NWhere
Joined February 2020
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You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
BREAKING: MIC DROP! Senator Mark Kelly delivers the best takedown of Trump's failed Iran War that we've ever heard — just in time for the midterm elections!
This is an absolute slam dunk...
"We had a President take this country to war without a strategic goal, without a plan, without a timeline, and without an exit strategy. And now he's stuck. He doesn't know what to do," Kelly said, while campaigning for Senate candidate Troy Jackson in Maine.
"I sit on the Armed Services and the Intelligence Committees, both of them. And I will say, from what I know about this, the Iranians weren't any closer to developing a nuclear weapon this year than they were when I first got to the United States Senate in 2020," said Kelly. "And it's this President who, by the way, tore up the deal in 2018 that started them to enrich the uranium at a higher level."
"So if you think there was a problem, this President created the problem!" he continued. "But he didn't need to go to war and put Americans in harm's way. We have now 20 deceased service members. Over 800 injured."
By now, most discerning people have come to realize that this war was never about nuclear weapons. Trump launched this war because Israel convinced him that he could win a quick, splashy victory and Israel wanted this war because they want to destroy a regional adversary. American interests were never at stake.
"And what did the American people get out of this?" asked Kelly. "They got nothing. They got higher gas prices. They got higher food prices."
"We've got service members deployed for record numbers of days on the USS Abraham Lincoln. And I understand going on cruise can be hard. It's challenging," he went on. "But really, they had eight service members who tried to commit suicide because of the conditions aboard the ship. And I've got to tell you, the worst thing about that, by far, for me, was to see the Secretary of Defense go straight to camera and say, there's no problem, and we give commanders everything they need. That is not leadership."
"Leadership has taken some responsibility for whatever the situation is," added Kelly. "And by the way, how hard would it have been for him to say, hey, I recognize there's a problem. We're going to look into the problem, and we're going to make things better for these service members because they deserve that. It's not hard to do. This Secretary of Defense was incapable of doing that."
Kelly is right to lay the blame for this disastrous war as much at Hegseth's feet as Trump's. Our booze-breathed, Fox News-fried "Secretary of War" is more interested in posturing as a tough alpha male than he is in actually leading our troops.
These midterm elections are, among other things, a referendum on this war. If you're sick of wasting blood and treasure on endless wars, vote blue!
Please ❤️ and share if you think that Mark Kelly nailed it!
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Vote Blue, not just for the US, but for all of us.
#voteblue #DemsUnited
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
We need to talk about Oakright Global. Because Oakright is @IsabelOakeshott. And Oakeshott is @reformparty_uk. We need to talk about Lybia, Nigeria, Israel, Iran, UAE; undeclared events and activities; Reform's parliamentary activity overlap with Oakright's clients. We need to talk about the "quiet" and the "loud".
#oakrightglobal
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
After yesterday’s post about the Russell Brand trial, my inbox was flooded with people claiming this is all just a coordinated media conspiracy.
Well, I hope those same people actually read what came out of Southwark Crown Court today, because Brand took the witness stand and completely shredded his own defense.
Under cross-examination, he openly admitted to "inconsistencies" in his evidence, awkwardly asking the prosecution for forgiveness.
Even more damning, his own barrister asked him if a single friend or colleague from twenty-five years in showbusiness was willing to stand up in that courtroom and speak for his character.
His answer was no. Not a single person would touch him with a barge pole. Think about what that actually means. Decades surrounded by entourages, agents, and industry friends, and not one human being is willing to take an oath on his behalf.
Then look at how he described women to the jury today.
He admitted saving a complainant’s name in his phone labeled with a degrading slur and a sexual act. When asked if a woman expressed reluctance to an encounter, he casually dismissed her hesitation as "coquettishness and coyness."
This is not a misunderstood free-thinker being silenced for his politics. This is an arrogant narcissist who used celebrity status to treat women like disposable commodities, and is now watching his carefully rehearsed narrative crumble under basic legal scrutiny.
Stop falling for the staged internet guru act. The admissions coming out of his own mouth in that courtroom tell you everything you need to know.
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
🚨🇬🇧 They say, “Tommy was protecting his family.” “They did it to him first.”
Two excuses. A jury heard and rejected both.
The Mail wrote about a public figure on holiday. Tommy hired private investigators to photograph journalists’ homes, then told a million followers “I will find you.”
That isn’t the same thing. And it isn’t protection.
Here’s what the jury actually heard.
What happened
In August 2024, while England was rioting, Robinson was on holiday in Cyprus, posting about the riots to his followers. The Mail found him there and ran a story: “Stoking riots from his sunbed.”
Over the next three days he went after the two reporters, Jacob Dirnhuber and Andrew Young.
🔺5 August: a direct message to Dirnhuber. “I’ll be knocking at your door.”
🔺5 August: a phone call to Young. Robinson told him he’d be coming to his home and that he’d “have to move house.”
🔺6 August: a post naming Dirnhuber, saying he and the other Mail journalists had “today been located.”
🔺7 August: a video to around a million followers. He said he had details of where they and their families lived. He told them to abide by “men’s rules.” Then: “The men, on the other hand, I will find you.”
He also hired private investigators to photograph their homes. He admitted it in court.
The result: Dirnhuber moved house. Young was given a close protection officer.
The law
The charge was harassment causing fear of violence. The prosecution had to prove a course of conduct that made each man fear violence on at least two occasions, and that Robinson knew or ought to have known it would.
That last part is an objective test. What Robinson says he meant doesn’t decide it. What decides it is what a reasonable person would expect a million followers to do with “I will find you.”
His defence
He said he was protecting his family. That is a real defence in law, if the conduct is reasonable for protecting someone. Police had given him four threat-to-life warnings. The jury heard all of it.
Why it failed
He admitted the aim was pressure. Telling a million people where journalists live doesn’t protect your children. It endangers theirs.
🔺He didn’t dispute that they were frightened. Asked in evidence, he said no.
🔺He never complained to the press regulator. He never asked the Mail to change or remove the story. The legal route was there. He skipped it.
🔺His own words. “Men’s rules” is not the language of protection.
One is journalism, however much you dislike it. The other is a threat.
The jury
He chose this. At the magistrates’ court he was offered a trial there. He opted for a jury instead, saying he wanted 12 members of the British public to hear the evidence.
They did. They convicted on both counts.
Sentencing is on 16 December.
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
In 63 hours hunters will be allowed to hunt Grizzly #Bears in Wyoming for the first time in 40 years. 22 bears will lose their life....so someone can have a rug. RT to show disapproval. #BanTrophyHunting
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Just a casual reminder that Germans who “didn’t bother to vote” in 1932 didn’t get a chance again until 1946, after Hitler’s death. — There’s a lesson there.
Never watched it before but intrigued to see how it all works. Princess and Junior seem pretty clueless. Pity the camera crew(?) tagging along with them. #CelebrityRaceAcrossTheWorld
Watched Ep2. Not sure I can be bothered to watch any more. They’re unlikeable, unbelievable characters. Whatever unfolds it’s going to be predictable. #Adultery
How many animals die each year to produce all the trials for #ImACelebrity ?
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Can we show @realDonaldTrump that we haven't forgotten about this?
Can we retweet this 10,000 times?
Comment when done ✅
It’s not a constitutional debate. It’s a common sense debate based on our economy. #BBCLauraK
There’s a difference between rejoining the EU and creating better trade and alliances with our nearest neighbours. Freedom of movement for some, not all. Our economy needs it! #bbclaurak
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Elon Musk claims that Ukraine allegedly violated Starlink's terms of use and used the system on combat drones.
As someone who was inside the process at the Ministry of Defense, I can say with certainty that this is not true.
In February of this year, whitelists were introduced. Stationary terminals could be registered by both military personnel and civilians.
But for any satellite terminal to work while on the move, it had to be added to a special list and connected to the military Starshield system. Otherwise, no satellite communication terminals in Ukraine would work.
In other words, using civilian Starlink for drone missions was technically impossible. All drone missions that required satellite communication could only be carried out using Starshield.
We are very grateful to the United States and SpaceX for access to critically important satellite communications. Ukraine did not violate the terms of use.
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Republicans control the House.
Republicans control the Senate.
Republicans control the White House.
Republicans control the Supreme Court.
Republicans control the DOJ.
This is what they did with two years in control:
trump gets:
- Gold all over the Oval Office
- BILLIONS in crypto for himself
- $400 million dollar Qatari bribe jet
- Millions in media and tech settlements
- Gold bars and diamond rings for tariff relief
- BILLIONS in Pentagon contracts for his sons
- $100,000 per month per person for insider info
- $600 million dollar ballroom at taxpayer expense
YOU GET:
- A war in Iran
- Higher gas prices
- Higher utility prices
- Higher grocery prices
- Higher housing prices
- Higher healthcare costs
- 21 dead American soldiers
- loss of trust from allies around the globe
- ICE thugs abusing our friends and neighbors
Now they want TWO MORE YEARS in office,
While they actively try to STEAL your vote.
WE ARE NOT POWERLESS.
Your vote can change this.
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Sign now to ramp up the pressure: weownit.org.uk/StopTheBailou…
God they’re pathetic. Overgrown schoolboys. When they’re not being racists and misogynists. #AYearInReform
You Couldnt Make It Up 🇬🇧🇧🇪 retweeted
Why is @X throttling the No Kings posts today??? 🤔
Testing this post’s reach without the hashtag.
