M (@_mlaxo) profile picture
South East, England
Joined November 2011
Matt Hancock - It Was Me (Shaggy Parody). Written / Performed by myself. Edits by @CarlossRicoo. #healthsecretary #matthancock #boris
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For the last six years I’ve kept a spreadsheet listing every parking spot I’ve used at the local supermarket in a bid to park in them all. This week I completed my Magnum Opus! A thread.
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My husband is a quiet, shy man who avoids the spotlight in any way possible. But today I want to show the world his amazing photography. He went out at 1am and came home at 4am absolutely freezing, but I think it was worth it. #proudwifemoment
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Slow motion carnage
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The thing about this is that he KNEW she would volunteer put her hands up. That was the risk he took because he KNEW his woman. That’s what paying attention allows you to do. Coming up with incredible surprises. This is beautiful.
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The Duke of Hastings. That's it. That's the tweet. 
#Bridgerton #missguided
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as if it’s still only first week of 2021 we’re still in a global pandemic america is in a civil war and jeffree star is rumoured to be shagging kanye west
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Whenever I watch that Lindt advert on TV
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I never thought it would be possible to describe 2020 in one minute, but this is pretty close
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Lad is in isolation at school for smacking a kid that’s been bullying him for weeks. Any advice of how I can treat him tonight? Thinking cinema or Nando’s.
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“It’s just a TV show”
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these are the scissors girls use when they are cutting off that guy
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idgaf who you are there are literally 364 other days to choose from
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When he tells you he hasn’t spent a lot of time on Xbox tonight.. but his hair tells you different 😂😂 dead
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Our street now has a WhatsApp group & this morning one neighbour was struggling with loneliness, so earlier we all had a socially distanced cuppa and chat together. This stuff makes a difference. #lookaftereachother
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Not many people will see this tweet. But, it is with a heavy heart I must announce that my wife of 48 years, Susan, lost her battle against the deadly coronavirus last night. I’m devastated😞 Please everybody take this virus seriously, that’s all I ask. Take care, everyone❤️
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Now that Katie Hopkins can’t read Twitter, I can tell you that on Monday I made her fly to Prague to pick up a completely fake award. Video up shortly.
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