Fay Sibs

A radical truth I discovered that will massively transform your life: I am not stuck because of someone or something outside of me. Look, friend, I feel you on this. Maybe you've been through something hard that left you reeling, wondering what's next and unable to breathe. What you went through may have been devastating, and it probably was. I have a friend who lost two sons in thirteen months. One died by suicide. The other had leukemia, and my friend donated his own bone marrow to save him. His son had a reaction to it and died. I lost one son, and griefs can't be ranked, but I can hardly take that one in. A loss like that can't be navigated without a compass that points your mind somewhere besides what you've been through. And it IS true that people have walked through unspeakable things and still moved forward. So how does one person get stuck while someone else finds a way forward? Here's what I realized: it's all about grabbing onto things you CAN control when life feels OUT of control. For me, I have to look at the responses, the decisions, and the mindsets I've built around what happened. Those are mine, and I can change them. The good news is, God built you to be able to find your feet again, and your brain will support you. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV) You have been given a sound mind. You don't have to live in fear and anxiety and overwhelm. You don't have to let your ADHD, or your neurodivergence, or anything else you've been through keep you where you are. The fourth commandment of self-brain surgery is: I must believe that my mind is in charge of my brain. Your brain listens to your mind, and God designed it that way. I'm not whitewashing any of this. I went through the Iraq war, post-traumatic stress disorder, and a divorce, and then I lost my son. So I feel you. But I love you enough, and I'm a good enough doctor to shoot straight: you need to grab onto what you can change, and re-orient towards a more hopeful future. That's the only choice that holds any hope. This is hard and holy work. If you're stuck after something like that, what's required is a change in how you're looking at it, and a decision that tomorrow can be different than yesterday was. You won't be doing it alone. Go back to the operating room. I say "knife," and the scalpel is in my hand. That's how the Holy Spirit works with you. He won't make the incision for you, and he won't operate for you. But he did design your nervous system so that it can change. That's neuroplasticity: the wiring you use is the wiring that gets stronger. The tenth commandment of self-brain surgery is: I must understand that thoughts become things. "...for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13, ESV) So it's not self-reliance, but it is self-help. He hands you what you need, and he expects you to pick it up. Let's get after the business of healing. Share this with a friend who needs to get unstuck, and save it for later when you need a friendly reminder to move again. And follow me for daily connections between neuroscience and faith that will help you in your quest for healing, hope, and higher performance in your life. Click the link in my bio to learn more about my New York Times best selling book, The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery. #neuroscience #mentalhealth #hope #anxiety #selfbrainsurgery

Feelings are strong, they're loud, and they make you think that you have to react to them. The problem is, neuroscience is clear: most of the things you feel don't actually point anything that's really happening. Happy people learn to check whether they're feeling against reality before they react to it. The second commandment of self-brain surgery is that I must believe that feelings are not facts, they are chemical events in my brain. Psalm 139:23 shows that asking God to help us discern between feelings and reality is the path to peace: "...test me and know my anxious thoughts." If you learn to take a five second pause between something you feel and how you react to it that will give your frontal lobes time to catch up to your amygdala, critically think about what's going on, and decide on an appropriate response. This simple move will make a huge difference in your quality of life. Save this for the next time feelings feel overwhelming, and share it with a friend who needs to know that not everything they feel turns out to be true. And follow me for daily connections between neuroscience and faith to help you achieve healing, hope, and higher performance. Click the link in my bio to learn more about my New York Times best selling book, the Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery. Note: I am not a therapist, I'm a brain surgeon. But I'm also a trauma survivor, a war veteran, and the father of a lost son. I've spent 25 years studying how neuroscience and faith connect to help us flourish to find my own way back to hope again, and these things will help you. But they are not substitutes for the advice of your own mental health professional. #mentalhealth #anxiety #selfbrainsurgery