flyingturd

Here's a sub saharan with black fungus disease so you can laugh and I can wake up to 300 retweets and a billion comments from random people. 👌🏻

Me to my family members at thanksgiving

Abdul, Texas Ranger already greenlit for three seasons 😂

The phoniness is unbearable. Every single one of you wouldn't want a 20 yo female copilot. Stop lying.

My wife’ll show you the candy station on your way up the driveway and you can have all the snickers you want. But you have to say trick or treat. You see, Jarquavious, I can deal with the pillow case candy buckets and the faint odor of weed and the Bluetooth speaker playing in your mom’s Kia Sportage. I don't want money and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty Black Panther costume and with your public school mouth extend me some fucking courtesy! You gotta say trick or treat.

“Here, we observe a remarkable confrontation between maternal indignation and cardiovascular inadequacy. One combatant possesses superior agility. The other possesses sufficient mass to influence local weather patterns. Evolution remains unimpressed.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #TheFastAndTheFamished #NaturalSelection #BackyardBrawl

Protect yourself gentlemen 🫂