FMyLife (@fml) header
FMyLife (@fml) profile picture

FMyLife

@fml

The home of FML since 2009. Submit your FML at https://nitter.cf/t.co/5v5VLifFd1 or via our new iOS and Android app - https://nitter.cf/t.co/TSOTsJwtxJ

 Everywhere, baby
fmylife.com
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets79.9K
  • Following467
  • Followers117K
12.9KMedia
Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)Photo by FMyLife (@fml)
I need Nathan Fielder to spend 30 days living with them
Pop Crave (@PopCrave) profile picturePop Crave
@PopCraveOct 28
Kristen Bell reveals on her husband’s podcast ‘Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard’ that he flirts with her by complimenting other people: “That’s how I know [Dax is] flirting with me a lot … We’ll be at dinner and like he’ll say to the waiter or waitress, he’ll go, ‘Wow, you have incredible eyelashes, gorgeous eyes. Great, great job.’”
Image from Pop Crave (@PopCrave)
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Sometimes you're reading a philosopher opine over some topic or other and you just pause and realise...it's a load of wank
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HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO USE YOUR STUPID FUCKING PRODUCT IF THEY CAN’T HAVE A COMPUTER. WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT
More Perfect Union (@MorePerfectUS) profile pictureMore Perfect Union
@MorePerfectUS22h
Sam Altman says its bad that everyone's personal computers are using the world's limited supply of memory chips. "It’s quite terrible to have everybody have a bunch of the world’s limited supply of DRAMs sitting in their own computer, and being used 5% of the time. Like, you want maximum utilization."
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FMyLife retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril28 Aug 2013
lets set some realistic goals here : jokes banned by 2016. sex banned by 2020. a cop in every household by 2025
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Uplift unhinged women
Sam Murphy (@popsamcam) profile pictureSam Murphy@popsamcamOct 29
Rebecca Black wants absurd pop music back, like Fergie and Gwen Stefani championed back in the day. I agree
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2026 HAS GONE TOO FUCKING FAR. WHAT THE FUCK?
Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) profile pictureFilm Updates
@FilmUpdatesOct 29
Patrick Stewart has sadly passed away at the age of 86.
Image from Film Updates (@FilmUpdates)
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FMyLife retweeted
FactPost (@factpostnews) profile picture
FactPost
@factpostnewsOct 29
Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
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derek guy (@dieworkwear) profile picture
derek guy
@dieworkwearOct 28
some guy called me stupid and said strong men create good times, and good times create soy men who create bad times. i went to his page and saw he created a sexy french female voice for his chatgpt, which he's apparently fallen in love with and is now flirting with "her."
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Might have to give out regular apples for Halloween this year because razor blades are so expensive. Thanks Biden
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Saw this headline, went “for the sake of my well being that’s not real” and then went and dipped my feet in this gorgeous open ocean and now I feel better
Image from kayla says (@KaylaSaysMore)
TMZ (@TMZ) profile pictureTMZ
@TMZOct 25
Nicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House Staffers tmz.com/2026/10/25/nicki-min…
Nicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House Staffers

Nicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House Staffers

Nicki Minaj has received some informal nominations to be the next White House Press Secretary ... with 2 staffers glowingly floating her name as a replacement after Katie Zacharia was fired.

tmz.com
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🎶Chestnuts roasting on an open fire 🎶….
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When I look back over my life... Everything I've been through... To be here now, with you... Is the best possible outcome. Thank you all for letting me love on you. Tonight I'm having a little speed puzzle fun. Completing 500 pieces in under 2 hours. Join me here now: Twitch.tv/ijustlovepuzzles youtube.com/@ijustlovepuzzle…
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XOXO (@joshipgiirl) profile picture
XOXO@joshipgiirlOct 23
ethan klein shocked his wife
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Damn, that was fast.
Image from 🏴‍☠️Maddox🏴‍☠️ (@maddoxrules)
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I was here first?
Bella (@stockbella) profile pictureBella
@stockbellaOct 22
If people dislike Elon Musk so much, why do they still use the platform he owns?
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sorry i cant come in to work today ethan klein cheated on his wife and i have to be on the internet all day for that
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Anyone else find google docs spellcheck to be unbelievably bad at times? Like get one letter wrong in some words and it’s utterly flummoxed.
Image from Matt Orchard (@RealMattOrchard)
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well they famously did not turn the titanic around at all
FactPost (@factpostnews) profile pictureFactPost
@factpostnewsOct 20
JD Vance on the economy: "You don't turn the Titanic around overnight"
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I feel moved to post my Elizabeth Holmes impression
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My latest video was just claimed over 15 seconds of me jokingly singing the chorus of Flowers. No background music and I’m literally talking through it as a joke. @TeamYouTube I will never stop hating you until I die
Image from kayla says (@KaylaSaysMore)
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