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así me siento cuando me dicen que mis ojos son bonitos nitter.cf/vilanelle_/status/2110…
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Pretending I don’t know why everyone’s laughing at my joke so I look effortlessly funny
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en una cena familiar, mi tío dijo que las mujeres eran "demasiado débiles" para trabajos físicamente exigentes. Mi abuela lo miró y dijo: "Yo di a luz sin anestesia. Vos llamaste a una ambulancia por cálculos renales". La mesa quedó completamente en silencio.
“But i did, twice” IS PEAK WRITING
I lost my virginity to a guy who warned me he was small (dick) and it was the best first time I could have asked for…
okay is it normal to feel this grateful about your first time?? because I feel like everyone I know has a horror story about theirs and mine was just... really good?
I'd been talking to this guy from my bio class for weeks and we both knew where it was going and one night at his place he stopped and got really serious and said he needed to tell me something before we went further. I thought he was going to say he had a girlfriend or something and my heart dropped but he just looked at the floor and said he was smaller than average and he understood if that changed things and I just stared at him like... that's it?? that's the big confession?? I almost laughed but not at him, just at how nervous he was about it, because I was a virgin and had zero frame of reference and didn't care??
when we actually got to it he was so careful. he asked before everything. "is this okay?" and "does this feel good?" and "do you want me to slow down?" and because he wasn't big it didn't hurt?? like at all?? my friends told me the first time would be painful and I kept waiting for the pain and it just never came (but I did, twice)
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like this is how to be a REAL bitch 😭
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Dylan Sprouse recalled on how he and his wife Barbara Palvin first met.
“We met in person at the Harper’s Bazaar Icons party, and she cut me in line for the red carpet…” He continued, “And I was like, ‘I don’t care how pretty you are, you’re not cutting me’… and she goes, ‘What, are you a hot dog vendor?’”
And I was just immediately in love. Like, it was that simple. I just need to be with someone who makes me laugh.





























