I protected someone and they betrayed me. Even though they betrayed me, they were still worth protecting. Are worth protecting. They are a daughter of god and that makes them precious whatever wickedness they are enacting. But they are not worth relying upon. They are not worth giving access. They are not worth any effort or energy from me beyond the "hi nice to hear from you." And why aren't they worth this? Because by their actions toward they have literally requested that they cannot be on that level with me. It isn't a question of, "am I just? Am I empathetic? Am I forgiving? Am I kind?" Yes. I am all of those things. But here's the question, "Are they repentant?" Because if they're not, then what do I care? I protected them. And I am proud of doing that. Because I am a person who protects people. I keep my covenants, and Im proud of doing that, because I am a person who hates wickedness, in myself and others. It has NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. They can jump off a bridge for all I care, set themselves on fire, set ME on fire, and the outcome will still be the same, I love my covenants. I love cleanliness. I love spiritual power. I love the lord. And by my example... maybe they'll change. Maybe *shrugs with a laugh* But if they don't? Who cares. No skin off my back. I gave you this gift of my protection because "I" wanted to protect. It was fun for me, it was just the right thing to do, it was who "I" wanted to be. Who "I" want to be. I hated getting beat, but boy do I love being the girl who got beat to protect someone. I don't need this lesser person's approval of me. Lol. There are others... who are the same as me, who are similar to me, and I will look to them for friendship and love. Whether in this life or from my ancestors. And if the only person willing to be my friend is Jesus? Hahahaha how blessed am I? Because that means that I am literally better than every single person other than Jesus because he is the only one that's willing and able to even stand by my side. The only one who won't betray me or try to kill me because he's the only one not threatened by my spiritual power and justice and mercy. Hahahahahaha everyone else? "Im just trying to keep you safe!" No you're not you cuck. Hahaha you're trying to keep YOURSELF safe. And you're doing it because you can't stomach the idea that someone else might be able to gain spiritual power over you. And instead of manning/womaning up and grasping the rod of strength for yourself, you think "well that's too hard, I don't want to deny myself and not sin, so instead I'll convince THEM to sin and strip them of all their powers!" Well guess what demons?! Hahahahaha I know your tricks now. I know the whys, I know what you're doing. You can't hurt me with the promise of friendship anymore. I'm done. You don't want me? Fine. Hahahaha kill me. Reject me. Leave. Hurt me. Rape me. Take my face and shove it in dirt just like you like. NOTHING is going to get me to give up my covenants ever again. Because I know where my help comes from. I know who my friends are. And... it wasn't who I expected. At the bare minimum, Jesus, Holy Ghost, the Apostle Paul and I, we can all be friends, and that's three right there. Everybody else? I help them because "I" am a caring person. I help them because "I" am empathetic. I help them because "I" like helping people. NOT because I need them. I don't. I need people that WANT to be my friend. I need people that WANT to achieve. I need people that are unwilling to drag me down spiritually or physically and instead are desirous to rise above everyone's hate. If they can't or won't do that? They do not deserve me. That's not cold and callous. *smirks* or maybe it is. I do not care. Remember their faces as they over and over and over told me, "we will not help you." And told me that I should die. That they didn't care if I died. That they would in fact kill me and they did it with perfect apathy.