nobody

I packed my stuff and left while my ex-boyfriend was still sleeping. His mom kept asking me questions while I was packing. “Akala ko dito ka na talaga?” “Alam ba niya na aalis ka na?” “Mga gamit mo, wala kang naiwan?” TBH, I didn’t even know how to answer her. My trigger was pulled by his text messages yesterday, and I thought, hey, maybe it’s finally time to leave. I know this might sound OA because, on the surface, there wasn’t anything particularly emotional about his messages. But I know him. I can literaaaaaally hear how he would say those exact words to my face, in that mean, condescending tone of his. And suddenly, those messages hit differently. Hindi naman niya ako helper in the first place. HAHAHAHA. And it’s not just about yesterday’s messages, either. For the past few days, he’s been going out late at night. I don’t even know where he’s going. Baka nagpa-party, nakikipagkape, or just hanging out somewhere. I don’t really know, and honestly, I don’t feel the need to ask. It just got me thinking, do I even need to be here anymore? I started feeling like my presence in that house was alr unnecessary. Like, maybe I’d served whatever purpose I had there, and there wasn’t really a reason for me to stay anymore even if his ask was until the EOM. Maybe he could’ve worded things better, or maybe I’m just extra sensitive today. I mean, kakagaling ko lang sa work, tangina, and I had so many deliverables to deal with. My brain was already fried. HAHAHAHA. So I left. What he didn’t know was that I was leaving today. I intentionally left his messages unread yesterday. I only saw them through the notification previews. “Anong oras tomorrow kay Daddy?” “Do you still need me there?” And God, I hated it. Maybe it wasn’t just about those messages. It was the way I knew he would say them to my face, the tone I could already hear in my head, and the feeling of being spoken to as if I owed him something. I don’t know. Maybe I really am just tired. Maybe I’ve reached the point where even the thought of dealing with that kind of attitude is enough to make me want to leave. His mom seemed surprised that I was actually leaving, but I guess I’d already made up my mind. And honestly, the more I think about it, the more I feel like he doesn’t deserve to meet my foster parents again. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I’m tired. Happy fuckin’ Friday! 🤭