El Jefe (@jeffjurica) header
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My God, my wife, my kids, the Texas Longhorns & lasagna. Texas Ex 2011 #HookEm

Somewhere in Texas
Joined January 2008
Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)Photo by El Jefe (@jeffjurica)
Inside the overnight scramble to prep an NFL stadium
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Some walk with you for a while… Others stay in your sky forever…
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We need to find out how to play like the first half Texas every half #HookEm
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Any psychopaths out there cooking pizza DIRECTLY on the center rack? Or do you use a pan like a civilized human being?
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El Jefe retweeted
Today I'm coining a new internet slang term: ai;dr AI, didn't read. Start using this to reply to comments that are obviously written by AI and watch what happens.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
It has already been coined x.com/seclilc/status…
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Never been so frustrated with a top 15 SEC away win 🤘🏼
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how can you not believe in God when octopuses DREAM and otters have a favorite rock they carry around in a little SKIN POCKET and cows have BEST FRIENDS and bees are out there communicating the coordinates of flowers through INTERPRETIVE DANCE and they have REGIONAL DIALECTS?? cats are PURRING at frequencies associated with bone healing??? forests get absolutely incinerated and respond by growing FLOWERS??? dolphins literally invent NAMES for themselves and yell them across the ocean??? penguins are waddling around Antarctica looking for the PERFECT LITTLE ROCK to give their beloved??? CROWS REMEMBER YOUR FACE. THEY TELL OTHER CROWS ABOUT YOU. THEY TELL THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT YOU. YOU CAN HAVE GENERATIONAL BEEF WITH A BIRD. goats have ACCENTS. rats GIGGLE when you tickle them. elephants mourn their dead. whales make SONGS and then OTHER WHALES LEARN THE SONG and suddenly everybody across the ocean is singing the new hit single. monarch butterflies are born knowing how to fly thousands of miles to a place THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN. sea turtles hatch out of an egg, immediately sprint toward an OCEAN they have never seen, disappear into it for like THIRTY YEARS and then somehow come back to THE SAME BEACH??? birds can see COLORS THAT WE CANNOT SEE. there are colors happening RIGHT NOW that we don’t even get to know about. there are sea slugs that eat algae and STEAL ITS CHLOROPLASTS and then are just like great thanks I’ll be PHOTOSYNTHESIZING NOW. there are mushrooms communicating underground. there are seeds sitting in the dirt for DECADES like no actually I will wait. squirrels plant MILLIONS OF TREES because they simply cannot remember where they put their snacks. A CATERPILLAR GOES INTO A LITTLE BAG, DISSOLVES MOST OF ITS BODY INTO ORGANIC SOUP, REARRANGES ITSELF, GROWS WINGS AND LEAVES. and you’re telling me a tiny acorn knows how to become a 70-foot oak tree??? nobody tells it what to do??? it just has TREE INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE IT??? your body started as ONE CELL. ONE. and that cell divided itself into a brain that can think about its own existence and eyes that can look at stars and hands that can hold somebody else’s hands and a heart that runs on ELECTRICITY without you even asking it to??? the iron in your BLOOD was made inside a STAR. I’M SORRY????? we are walking around on a wet rock covered in bioluminescent oceans and singing whales and laughing rats and birds holding lifelong grudges and flowers exploding out of FIRE and somehow we’re supposed to act like this is a normal place to live?????????
how can you not believe in God when octopuses dream, otters have a favorite shell that they carry all their lives, cows have best friends, bees have different "dialects" of dance depending on the region, cats purr at a frequency that accelerates bone healing, the forest grows flowers first after a fire, dolphins give each other names and respond to them, penguins make proposals by giving each other the most beautiful pebble, crows will tell their children about you, goats have accents, rats giggle when you tickle them, sea slugs become powered by the sun just by green algae and squirrels plant millions of trees every year just by forgetting where they've buried their nuts!
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El Jefe retweeted
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it"
Texas vs. Ohio State: The Mini-Movie 🎬🍿
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Texas vs. Ohio State: The Mini-Movie 🎬🍿
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El Jefe retweeted
Just realized Arch Manning is 5-1 against his last six ranked opponents including 4 top 10 wins AND wins over both Ohio St and Michigan
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Walking into my Aggie-heavy office this morning like…
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Texas has overtaken the AP #1 ranking four times in the last three years. This is the most IN THE COUNTRY over that timeframe. Texas A&M last held the distinction in 1957.
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El Jefe retweeted
bit.ly/4pqFxV8 There's a new No. 1 as Ohio State falls and Michigan returns to the AP Top 25 rankings. See where your team landed.
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🤘🏽🆙 #HookEm
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El Jefe retweeted
There is an advanced metric called OL Line Yards that “estimates how many rushing yards a RB gains thanks to their OL rather than their own individual speed and elusiveness.” The 3.30 OL yards per carry Texas had last night was their best performance in the last 3 years. #HookEm
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El Jefe retweeted
Steve Sarkisian and his wife, Loreal, taking it all in after Texas’ win over No. 1 Ohio State. Real human stuff here. The game means a lot to him and you can tell.
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El Jefe retweeted
Texas had a 1.7% win probability at the 2:53 mark in the third quarter 🤯 #CFP x @espn
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COMPLETED THE COMEBACK 😤
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Western Michigan > Michigan > OU
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🚨 TODD BEAMER, UNITED 93 PHONE CALL: "LET'S ROLL" 🇺🇸 Todd: Hello… Operator… listen to me. I can’t speak very loud. This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco. Our plane has been hijacked. Lisa: I understand. Can they see you? Todd: No. There are three that we know of. They have knives — razor knives, like box cutters. Someone announced from the cockpit there was a bomb. It sounded fake. Lisa: Your name? Todd: Todd Beamer. United Flight 93. Todd: They killed one passenger in first class. They forced most of us back. Fourteen of us here. Five flight attendants. The guy with the bomb ordered us to sit on the floor. Lisa: Are you okay? Todd: We’re going down… wait. No. We’re leveling off. We changed directions. We’re flying east again. Todd: A guy named Jeremy called his wife. She told him two planes hit the World Trade Center. Lisa, is that true? Lisa: I have to tell you the truth. It’s very bad. Both towers are gone. A third plane hit the Pentagon. Our country is under attack. I’m afraid your plane may be part of their plan. Todd: Oh God. Lisa, will you do something for me? Call my wife and my kids. Promise me you’ll call. Lisa: I promise. Todd: Our home number is… You have the same name as my wife. Lisa. We’ve been married ten years. She’s pregnant with our third child. Tell her I love her. I’ll always love her. We have two boys — David, he’s 3, and Andrew, he’s 1. Tell them their daddy loves them and he is so proud of them. The baby is due January 12th. I saw an ultrasound. We still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy. Lisa: I’ll tell them. I promise, Todd.(Lisa patches in the FBI.) Agent: Todd, your plane is on a course for Washington. Best guess is the White House or the Capitol. Todd: I understand. I’ll be back. Todd: Everyone knows this isn’t a normal hijacking. We have decided we will not be pawns in their plot. Lisa: What are you going to do? Todd: Four of us are going to rush the one with the bomb. Then the cockpit. A stewardess is getting boiling water. We’ll take them out. Todd: Would you pray with me? [They pray the Lord’s Prayer.] Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Todd: God help me. Jesus help me. Are you guys ready? Let’s Roll. SOURCE: @SterlingMSnow
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