nerp•augh retweeted
Nobody warns you about the most dangerous creature in America.
It's not a bear.
It's not a shark.
It's a 150-pound woodland ninja with zero situational awareness and absolutely no fear of your truck.
Picture it.
You're driving home. Coffee in the cupholder. Radio on. Minding your own business like a good, law-abiding citizen.
And out of nowhere…
The deer enters the chat.
Darting in front of trucks like he's got the right of way.
Staring down the yard cam like he pays the mortgage.
Leaping right past the family dog, who just stands there wondering what he did to deserve this.
Folks, I've been doing this a long time, and I've learned one thing about deer:
They have exactly two settings.
Frozen solid.
Or full send.
There is no in between. There is no turn signal. There is no "after you, sir."
If you've ever driven a back road at dusk, both hands on the wheel, eyes scanning the tree line like you're on a combat patrol…
You already know.
You don't relax until you're in the driveway.
And even then, you check the yard.
Watch this whole thing to the end. Every clip is somehow worse than the last.
What's the craziest deer encounter you've ever had?
nerp•augh retweeted
Annautaq the baby walrus is quite literally a professional baby look at him in his blankie and with his bottle and his mouth full of milk omg
nerp•augh retweeted
MY BITCH IS BAD MY TEXAS IS BLUE MY SENATOR A FREAK AND MY GOVERNOR A FOO! 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽
nerp•augh retweeted
Trump Says He Will Move to Israel to Become Prime Minister If U.S. Turns on Him tmz.me/4Aap1wW
































