nerp•augh (@nerpaugh) header
nerp•augh (@nerpaugh) profile picture

🦭 #sealtwt #rambling #arguing #hopecore (IP ownership remains with original photographers. @ me for sourcing & removal requests)

she/her
Joined October 2023
Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)Photo by nerp•augh (@nerpaugh)
🍌
1
269
10
1,824
18,505
Nobody warns you about the most dangerous creature in America. It's not a bear. It's not a shark. It's a 150-pound woodland ninja with zero situational awareness and absolutely no fear of your truck. Picture it. You're driving home. Coffee in the cupholder. Radio on. Minding your own business like a good, law-abiding citizen. And out of nowhere… The deer enters the chat. Darting in front of trucks like he's got the right of way. Staring down the yard cam like he pays the mortgage. Leaping right past the family dog, who just stands there wondering what he did to deserve this. Folks, I've been doing this a long time, and I've learned one thing about deer: They have exactly two settings. Frozen solid. Or full send. There is no in between. There is no turn signal. There is no "after you, sir." If you've ever driven a back road at dusk, both hands on the wheel, eyes scanning the tree line like you're on a combat patrol… You already know. You don't relax until you're in the driveway. And even then, you check the yard. Watch this whole thing to the end. Every clip is somehow worse than the last. What's the craziest deer encounter you've ever had?
18
62
5
1,112
103,354
nerp•augh retweeted
Florida staying Red amidst the biggest Blue wave in over a decade
124
4,406
381
39,552
958,920
nerp•augh retweeted
Every Republican candidate Nicki Minaj endorsed in the 2026 midterms elections have all lost to Democrats.
18
4,111
16
61,435
338,564
how much would you pay for the opportunity to clasp
2
11
1
201
1,036
"I won't get political this Thanksgiving" Two shots later:
401
8,622
892
71,543
3,601,436
nerp•augh retweeted
*sniffs you curiously with my weird flexible proboscis*
17
363
15
3,757
55,616
Annautaq the baby walrus is quite literally a professional baby look at him in his blankie and with his bottle and his mouth full of milk omg
6
262
8
2,108
22,591
nerp•augh retweeted
Trump After losing Mid Term
469
4,274
283
38,299
1,746,693
まん丸大きな   ゜⚫️⚫️ ゜   お は な
2
94
3
917
9,559
distrustful oughling
18
254
1,352
nerp•augh retweeted
Hasan Piker used Islamic trickery to turn the Jews antisemitic
New - Jewish voters 🔵 Democrats 67% 🔴 Republicans 32% Exit poll - NBC
58
966
13
18,234
175,215
Average California proposition DIARRHEA FOREVER? 54.3% YES ✅ 45.7% NO
20
2,461
43
20,087
137,730
nerp•augh retweeted
MY BITCH IS BAD MY TEXAS IS BLUE MY SENATOR A FREAK AND MY GOVERNOR A FOO! 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽
14
4,895
32
35,152
284,310
nerp•augh retweeted
Elon Musk lost 474 million dollars tonight
535
6,831
206
81,887
668,053
nerp•augh retweeted
We’re gonna fucking deport Elon
635
6,055
249
83,517
567,172
nerp•augh retweeted
You think twitter is fun tonight just wait till he croaks
375
11,409
229
138,350
792,848
nerp•augh retweeted
Your baby will now be 40% vaccine by volume.
13
1,561
4
17,551
94,784
nerp•augh retweeted
I just don't think they hear themselves sometimes lol
Trump says if Democrats win: "You're going to be thrown into a system where everyone gets healthcare."
19
1,750
10
25,995
331,587