A former friend with benefit who I occasionally catch up with told me she has hard time finding a serious guy. And when I asked about her recent dating history, the common pattern is that she gets put off very easily and early on. I then asked her: “Why do you think we still get on well to this day?” “To be fair I originally thought you were just going to be a one hit wonder.” “And few years later we still speak to this day, so what was different with me?” “I was just looking to have fun, I was not dating seriously.” “Yet the guy who you had little expectation of is the one still present in your life, while all these guys who you seek something serious, with none of them are… you know why?” “Go on.” “Because, you were not burdened by all these considerations, you could be present and take it one step at a time, without any long-term agenda. This makes you all the more likely to properly vibe with someone, and keep on seeing them. When you have this checklist, the other person does not feel appreciated, and will also feel that unwelcome desperation, or responsibility they did not ask for. You are also more tolerant towards others which invites more tolerance from them. If you are not willing to give the benefit of the doubt to someone, they won’t to you either.” “I don’t have time to waste though.” “When you feel someone is panic selling, do you think the value of the product is high or low?” “Low” “So what do you think you are conveying when you are in rush to get to a certain outcome?” “We are people not product, you can’t reason like that?” “Don’t you appraise them like a potential auction item?” She goes on a tangent and deflect. The lesson is as good for men as it is for women. The less pressure you put on yourself to reach your goal, the more likely you are going to reach it, because you don’t burden yourself or the other person who is also a stranger with requirements they don’t owe you. This is why women who don’t seek relationships and go for the fun side of things usually get both, because guys want more of the freebies, that inadvertently women take away from them because they don’t seek anything from these men, getting the guys to chase after it.

But, I'm a misogynist for saying EXACTLY this since 2013?

🚨🇮🇪 NEWS: A court in Ireland has heard how after a migrant named Riad Bouchaker stabbed multiple toddlers outside a nursery in Dublin, a group of local women formed a protective circle to keep him safe from furious parents