Medical humor and satire. Random thoughts from a trauma surgery dude at a hospital near you. and gifs, lots of gifs.
Joined July 2018
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ScratchpadMD retweeted
“Mr. Smith, can you tell me where you are right now?”
Mr. Smith: “Hell.”
[typing progress note]: 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥.
ScratchpadMD retweeted
When a med student genuinely tells me they’re interested in becoming a surgeon.
ScratchpadMD retweeted
Roses are red.
Beaches are sandy.
Here’s a CT scan
Of valentine’s candy.
#MedTwitterValentines
ScratchpadMD retweeted
My dad is in New Orleans for the first time and called me with a childlike sense of wonder I have never heard in his voice before. He said “this is a happy place”, “all of the food is good”, and “I saw a dog parade and there was a chihuahua in a wig, she was the princess”
ScratchpadMD retweeted
The 3 Great Lies of Surgery
1. We were nowhere near it
2. It was dry when we left
3. 5 more minutes
ScratchpadMD retweeted
On a 12 hour shift & the grief it brings to me
12-lead EKGs
11 brand new consults
10-fingered patient
9 fingers now
8 some graham crackers
7 students following
6 unanswered pages
5MG OF HALDOL IV
4 vasopressors
3am consult
2bo-ovarian abscess
And a patient coded in the CT
🎶🎄🎅🏻
ScratchpadMD retweeted
If you find my jokes offensive then I’m happy to call a dermatology consult to see if we can get some help for your thin skin
ScratchpadMD retweeted
me: hey we’ve got an arm fracture here
ortho: busy with a trauma - get back to u soon
me: you know what, i got this
me:
ScratchpadMD retweeted
Attending showing me one of my tweets: “man, aren’t you glad our program isn’t like this”
Me: 😶
ScratchpadMD retweeted
Okay, guys. Crisis brings opportunity. Proposal to simplify the ridiculously complicated ICD-10 system. What do you think? @CMSGov @Skepticscalpel
ScratchpadMD retweeted
Just a friendly gif to remind everyone how Hepatitis A is spread. This man is the vector, your enteral system is the recipient.
