Retired supporter of Crystal Palace FC and Bath rugby. Sometimes in the UK 🇬🇧 sometimes in Thailand 🇹🇭
Joined October 2009
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Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
Remember the name Rio Cardines! 🇹🇹
The insane stats behind @BristolCity's left-back Beckham, on loan from Crystal Palace, who is on course to smash the Championship assist record...
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
“Let’s see how Andros Townsend is getting on in Thailand…” 🤔
How Andros Townsend is getting on in Thailand: 😅
#CPFC
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
People running schools in every democracy should now be buying tickets to visit Estonia and England - "the only two countries outside East Asia to come in the top 10 for reading, maths & science." And reading everything written by @daisychristo on the way over...
The PISA 2025 results are out today. Some quick insights.
- The major story is very significant global decline. The last PISA study was in 2022, and saw big declines in reading and maths scores from 2018. Obviously the pandemic played a part.
- But this 2025 round has seen further falls even from the 2022 lows!
Things haven't gone back to normal post-pandemic - they've got worse.
Every generation thinks the generation below is less smart - but this time they might be right!
The Clacton by-election was neither a fantastic success for @Nigel_Farage or a complete humiliation. However it was a colossal waste of money and completely pointless.
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
I’m with Stefan on this! We are updating @valuball for some new data but even so Palace have plenty of headroom.
Not really sure where this SCR panic has come from for Palace - heard it from a few fans.
PL SCR is 85% (with allowances to 115%) - there is no 70% in the PL rules.
UEFA SCR is 70% for calendar year. For CY 2026, CPFC revenue will be around £230m and av player profits c£60m. Wages around £120m (you only take player wages not full wages and CP one of the only that tell us the player number), amortisation c£70m, agents £10m (only half the published number as the rest is in amortisation).
So £200m over £290m give or take is just under 70%. Fines are small if you go just over anyway. As for UEFA Football Earnings, CPFC should be fine.
More prudence/choice than enforced need to be careful.
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
🛵⚠️ Thinking of hiring a moped or quad bike abroad?
If you’re not licensed to drive it at home, your insurer may not cover you on holiday.
That means no cover for injuries, and you may be liable for all damages.
Check your licence before you hire.
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
No matter how many times I listen to this, I cannot get over how incredible this sounds live!💞
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
ทรงพระเจริญ
เนื่องในโอกาสวันเฉลิมพระชนมพรรษา
๒๘ กรกฎาคม
พระบาทสมเด็จพระเจ้าอยู่หัว
ด้วยเกล้าด้วยกระหม่อมขอเดชะ
ข้าพระพุทธเจ้า นายเศรษฐา ทวีสิน
Is Jordan Henderson the first England player to be both yellow carded and carried off on a stretcher without actually playing? A truly masterful performance. What is Adam Wharton thinking sitting at home?
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
I am having a drink this evening with a friend in a Chiswick pub. Two policemen have just come into the pub and asked me to step outside. I have stepped outside and they have threatened me because I tweeted about a councillor banning seating outside pubs in Chiswick. They admit on video (watch it!) that I did not break the law at all. They came to threaten me. To warn me off tweeting about councillors and the council. This is modern Britain. This is the police state. Please, please, please watch this video. It does involve me using very bad language, but this has got to be seen. Police coming out to threaten someone who hasn’t committed a crime. I’m fuming.
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
🚨🇫🇷 @kierangill_DM on Maxence Lacroix: Crystal Palace side say no club-to-club talks have opened with Chelsea as of yet & asking price would exceed the £52m that Brighton secured for Jan Paul van Hecke.
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
To: Prime Minister
Copy: SofS for Defence
We are on the brink of a historic decision.
War seldom takes the expected form and a strong maritime capability provides flexibility for the unforeseen. If you erode it to the extent envisaged I believe you will undesirably foreclose your future options and prejudice our National Security
First Sea Lord
18 May 1981
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
Worth remembering that this is her position
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
Dr No-Mandate, Andy Burnham, threatens to unleash “mascara Marxism” on Britain, but James Bond and Kemi Badenoch are ready to stop him.
Just beware of his terrifying henchman: Pint-Jaws.
{satire}
Simon Barnes 🇹🇭 🇬🇧 🏴 retweeted
Not the first time he's lied with Palace news #CPFC
