Stand Up Comic. TV Writer. NY Sports fan. Podcast w/ SNL’s Darrell Hammond. Not Gonna DM you (but you can DM me). Insta: @ChrisMillhouse

NYC
Joined October 2008
Tonight on CBS after Colbert!
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So this is how it ends
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Same vibes
First trailer for David O’Russell’s ‘MADDEN’ has been released. Starring Nicolas Cage, Christian Bale, Kathryn Hahn, Sienna Miller, John Mulaney, and Shane Gillis. Premiering November 18 on Prime Video.
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Thanks for rocking my face off @TURNSTILEHC 🔥
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
Is there a job that pays $200k to just kind of walk around
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
there's only one door @jalenbrunson1 wants this key to unlock
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Love that the Knicks subway stop is still up 🔥 #Knicksin5 #knicksnation
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Tonight in NYC. Just about sold out. Come or don’t, I’m not the boss of you gothamcomedyclub.com/events/…
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
Lying about my birthday at chilis, getting caught, then escalating into a suicide by cop situation
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The person who dubbed this video is a genius! 😂😂
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For the first time since Week 7 of the 2022 season, we do not have a single player with an out, doubtful or questionable designation on our injury report

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Chris Millhouse retweeted
Aaron Rodgers hasn’t been blindsided this badly since Shailene Woodley told him her plans before they got married.
Aaron Rodgers just got destroyed 😭
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“MAGA Mouth Condoms” South “America” nailed it!
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
Jon Stewart on the Supreme Court: “They have single-handedly made it impossible for us to reform and save our democracy. The way they have made it that corporations are people and money is speech. There has to be a process of amending the Constitution. This idea that Citizens United stands as the law of the land is the biggest bunch of shit. The Constitution is in a suicide pact and money in elections is killing this country”
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
NYC DOT announced that Park Avenue will return to its original park design. Nature is healing.
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Need more friends in NYC that wanna see concerts. Specifically Turnstile on Wednesday 😂
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
He looks like if matt damon was portraying brian daboll
Kent State coach Mark Carney called Jeremiah Smith "one of one" and said the Ohio State star is a future top-five NFL draft pick. (📹️ via Kent State Athletics)
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“What would you do if you got elected to Congress, Lauren?” Lauren Boebert:
🚨#BREAKING: Rep. Lauren Boebert is accused in a sworn House ethics complaint of having lesbian affairs with 2 female staffers under her supervision.
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Chris Millhouse retweeted
UnitedHealth used an AI program with a 90% error rate to deny care — a new lawsuit claims.
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“You must get a lot of DMs!” Yeah Community Notes are super thirsty these days
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