David “I Hate Constituents” Graham-Caso Parody

JUST IN: Democrat operatives spent months finding Alaskans with the same name as Republican Dan Sullivan so they could confuse voters and help Mary Peltola (D), according to The New York Times. A staffer was tasked with finding every voter named "Dan Sullivan" in the state and then contacting them and coaxing them to run for Senate. The plan worked when a man named "Dan J. Sullivan," a retired teacher from a small fishing village that can only be reached by air or ocean, announced he was running. He has held no campaign events, has given very few interviews, and has voted for Democrats in the past. As The Times reported, the Peltola campaign claims it had no involvement in recruiting "Dan J. Sullivan"; however, documents suggest the campaign was actively involved and that the operation was "much broader." "The endeavor, which was internally called the ballot composition project, involved secret trips to far-flung Alaskan communities and the appearance of a mysterious Midwestern operative, who traversed the state using a fake name and made his pitch to would-be candidates over beers at brew pubs," the NYT reports. Peltola was reportedly "definitely aware" of what was going on, according to Peltola's former campaign manager Elisa Rios. Alaska is expected to be one of the closest elections this cycle, and as of now, Peltola is the only Democrat, while there are two Dan Sullivans and another republican named Gerald Heikes, who was also allegedly recruited to take votes from Senator Sullivan. The New York Times reports that they have evidence from *12 people* who participated in the plot. These communists will do something like this and then tell you they are defending democracy.