it’s just not true for everyone though, is it?
when i’m mayor we’re building a huge trebuchet and ejecting hundreds of people every day
It's crazy that EDtwt is PRO-disorder. It's like if Alcoholics Anonymous was for anonymously talking about how awesome alcohol is.
didn’t keep up with the payments on my Yeezy loan, so they repossessed my Yeezys and made me walk home in my socks
ultimate shade is when a Chinese takeaway sends you two pairs of chopsticks, because they think your order is for two people rather than you just being a fat cunt
i don’t know what kind of 6G they’ve put in this year’s COVID vaccine, but it’s absolutely wiped the floor with me
i’m old enough to remember when anti-semitism was fun, just like calling your Jewish mates the K word
now anti-semitism is either being an actual Nazi or not going to see the Ali G film
sent a message to a colleague called Kelly starting with “Hi Jelly” and didn’t notice for over two hours
have to go and live in the woods now
Amex: “we’re the card for young people who love to experience the world!”
also Amex: “what the fuck is this you little cunt? euros? what the fuck is that? that’ll be 3%, don’t you ever fucking leave the country again”
thank you @andyburnham, removing the tariff on imported boiled sweets is what every working person in this great nation has been desperate for



















