The bad news: my friend’s son got busted for smoking weed in the bathroom of a Spirit Airlines airplane The good news: he’s banned from Spirit Airlines for life

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Emma Beasley🐝 · Oct 3, 2023 · 2:06 PM UTC

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Emma Beasley🐝@JustBeingEmma3 Oct 2023

Great news! I found the lid to my favorite Tupperware bowl - the one I threw out last week because the lid was missing.

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ES · Nov 25, 2023 · 2:14 AM UTC

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@ESXIII25 Nov 2023

There’s a huge difference between “I’m happy I read that book” and “I’m happy I finished that book.”

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Uptown Schmuck · Oct 6, 2023 · 2:55 PM UTC

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Uptown Schmuck@SchmuckOnAHorse6 Oct 2023

At my age, even jumping to conclusions gives me knee pain.

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M🔴T · Dec 26, 2023 · 10:29 AM UTC

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M🔴T@JusyMot26 Dec 2023

not my best year but i have learned a lot

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Wondering · Sep 20, 2022 · 12:50 AM UTC

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Wondering@stillwondering120 Sep 2022

Things keep happening, so far, without end.

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Tusk Jenkins · Dec 25, 2023 · 1:53 PM UTC

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Tusk Jenkins@TuskJenkins25 Dec 2023

Happy everything to those who omnibrate

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Μαρια Κιτρινη · Nov 16, 2023 · 3:09 PM UTC

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Μαρια Κιτρινη@greek_heanen16 Nov 2023

Welcome to your forties! You're gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples

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olive · Dec 23, 2023 · 3:25 PM UTC

olive@offbeatoliv23 Dec 2023

If you don’t recognize me I’m the one with the sensible shoes.

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Annie Hatfield · Dec 6, 2023 · 5:53 PM UTC

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Annie Hatfield

@AnneHatfieldVO6 Dec 2023

I rarely wear my wedding ring because I don't care for rings. Downside: I have nothing to hurl in anger.

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just me but not · Aug 24, 2023 · 2:32 PM UTC

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just me but not@justmebutnot124 Aug 2023

She will disappoint you like a $10 coffee

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LIFEISAJOURKNEE · Dec 6, 2023 · 4:34 AM UTC

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LIFEISAJOURKNEE@LIFEJOURKNEE6 Dec 2023

90% of people are "undateable" without alcohol

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