Shannon (@theevilwriter) header
Shannon (@theevilwriter) profile picture

Shannon

@theevilwriter

SWF seeks ninja for cuddling, laughs, long walks on the beach, and vanquishment of common enemies

 New Hampshire
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Joined September 2011
  • Tweets56.1K
  • Following4.1K
  • Followers3.6K
3.2KMedia
Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)Photo by Shannon (@theevilwriter)
Replying to @theevilwriter
"What if he's not," you whisper. "Then we're going to do a lot more than look at dead cows." "I don't wanna," you say. "Look at the cows?" I ask, disappointed. "Do a lot more." "Come on, where's you spirit of adventure?" Fred asks.
0%"I wasn't born with one."
0%"I lost it at the prom."
100%"It was kidnapped."
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🚨 Democrats have introduced a bill to ban ultra-bright headlights that blind drivers on the road.
Image from Democrats Deliver (@DemzDeliver)
Image from Democrats Deliver (@DemzDeliver)
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I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but if you want it to get dark out during the winter an hour later than it does now, you like Daylight Saving Time. You only prefer Standard Time if you want winter sunsets to stay exactly the same, and for it get dark earlier now.
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Image from WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)
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In Japan, mispronouncing a word gets you a polite correction. In Nashville, I ordered a "girl cheese" by accident. The waitress didn't blink. She yelled to the kitchen: "ONE GIRL CHEESE, LOADED!" The cook yelled back "GIRL CHEESE COMING UP!" I have eaten there 14 times since. It's on the menu now.
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“Runaway brides” should be called “near Mrs.” Thank you, this is why I have a PhD
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I just got result 'the survivor' on quiz 'which female horror archetype are you?'. What will you get? uquiz.com/quiz/wWmDiX/which-… via @uquiz
I got the survivor... which female horror archetype are you?

I got the survivor... which female horror archetype are you?

you have an important role to play in your own terrifying tale. are you the final girl or the monster? depends on your point-of-view. (also, this is a horror-related quiz, so CW for disturbing...

uquiz.com
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Shannon retweeted
mariana Z (@mariana057) profile picture
mariana Z
@mariana057Jun 3
Due to the high cost of energy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
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Shannon retweeted
Shannon (@theevilwriter) profile picture
Shannon@theevilwriterMay 19
How high do you think the US national average (i.e. not just the west coast and other more expensive areas) will reach for a gallon of gas in 2026?
0%$5 to $6
100%$6.01 to $7
0%$7.01 to $8
0%$8.01+
1 votes • Final results
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How high do you think the US national average (i.e. not just the west coast and other more expensive areas) will reach for a gallon of gas in 2026?
0%$5 to $6
100%$6.01 to $7
0%$7.01 to $8
0%$8.01+
1 votes • Final results
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Shannon retweeted
Big Timi (@OrevaZSN) profile picture
Big Timi
@OrevaZSNMay 19
Me: Hey, can you print this black and white document? Printer: I am offline. Me: No, you are not. Can you please just print this black and white document? Printer: With my MAGENTA low??? Bro, you sound insane right now.
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Image from no context memes (@nocontextmemes)
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Replying to @NoahGarfinkel
The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a ballroom
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“9-1-1 what’s your emergency?” “There’s someone in the house. He’s trying to kill me.” “Okay, what I want you to do is get to your ballroom.” “I don’t have a ballroom.” “…Then may God have mercy on your soul.”
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Cats disappearing for hours in a small house is the best evidence of interdimensional travel we have.
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Shannon retweeted
Kae 📸 (@i_shoot_RAWs) profile picture
Kae 📸
@i_shoot_RAWsFeb 28
MAGA during the election cycle: “TRUMP IS A PRESIDENT OF PEACE AND KAMALA GETS A PERIOD SO SHE’LL START A WAR!!!!” MAGA now: “lol stupid lib you don’t even understand why starting this war is good TDS”
Image from Kae 📸 (@i_shoot_RAWs)
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MAGA voted for the President of Peace.... they VOTED for this... FAFO... and now the impacts of "Peace" will be... potential oil price surges of 70-100% per barrel if the strait remains blocked, linking this to broader inflation spikes....But MAGA voted for this... RIGHT MAGA???
Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) profile pictureEd Krassenstein
@EdKrassenFeb 28
BREAKING: Iran’s Revolutionary Guard is closing the strait of Hormuz and is turning vessels around. This threatens 20% of the world’s oil. Trump’s Operation Epic Fury is about to make inflation spike. Is this what you voted for?
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Shannon retweeted
FreeSoul NZ (@Kiwigirl25) profile picture
FreeSoul NZ@Kiwigirl25Mar 1
A whole of Republicans and MAGA shitbags who shrieked that Kamala would start wars, are having to eat their words right now. President of Peace? What a joke! #TrumpEpsteinCoverUp
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Image from Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken (@woofknight)
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Image from Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper)
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7:45am me did midnight me a real solid by fully making the bed so I only had to pull back the covers. Thanks, Girl
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